In some parts of the world, it is becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of someone’s family. Why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Recently, in most countries, it has been becoming a trend finding the history of people's life, especially their family backgrounds. This trend can lead to several benefits for many aspects such as easing the employers to get a necessary employee, or collecting data of social ranges in the countries for further uses, or even preserving historical backgrounds among the nations. This essay, as my point of view lead to, will elaborate more about the reasons people doing this as I believe that this trend is a good improvement.
Firstly, how a family educates their children influences the way of thinking of the children in some ways. Besides, the beliefs the family holds and teaches the children will always be with the children. Thus the first school for the children is the house they live in. An employee with so scheduled activities can be related to the way to the way of his/her parents educating him/her. Relating to this, corporations take this indicator, the family backgrounds, as one of the considerations to select the applicants for appropriate positions.
Secondly, historians recognise this as an academic interest. They collect the information as much as they can attempt to gain perspectives of social, economy, and also culture from the society. They use this as the database to preserve the historical background to remind the young generations to not to forget about their own personal background family as well as to make several suggestion policies which are proper for the condition of the group of families inside the country for the government. As the result, there will be massive positive outcomes for both individuals and governments to deal with severe problems in society because the database includes beliefs, values, religions, and other relating things from the society.
To sum up, having considered all views above, I believe there will always be great to find out the historic background of families in the society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb pattern Original: it has been becoming a trend finding Suggested revision: it has become a trend to investigate Why it matters: The original perfect-progressive form and following gerund do not form a grammatical expression here.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessor refers to the lives of multiple people.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: benefits for many aspects Suggested revision: benefits in several areas Why it matters: Benefits occur in areas rather than for aspects.
- 4. Fix object pattern Original: easing the employers Suggested revision: making it easier for employers Why it matters: Ease cannot take employers as its object with the intended meaning.
- 5. Clarify recruitment Original: to get a necessary employee Suggested revision: to recruit suitable employees Why it matters: This wording states the intended recruitment outcome more precisely.
- 6. Use precise phrase Original: data of social ranges Suggested revision: data on social groups Why it matters: Social ranges is not a natural term for categories within society.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: for further uses Suggested revision: for future use Why it matters: The singular fixed expression is more natural in this context.
- 8. Clarify the meaning Original: historical backgrounds among the nations Suggested revision: national histories Why it matters: The original phrase is awkward and obscures what is being preserved.
- 9. Use possessive form Original: the way of thinking of the children Suggested revision: children's way of thinking Why it matters: The possessive form expresses this relationship more naturally.
- 10. Remove vague wording Original: in some ways Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This phrase weakens an otherwise direct claim without adding meaning.
- 11. Improve word choice Original: the beliefs the family holds and teaches the children Suggested revision: the beliefs a family instils in its children Why it matters: Instil accurately expresses the transmission of beliefs to children.
- 12. Avoid repetition Original: with the children Suggested revision: with them Why it matters: The pronoun clearly refers back to the children and avoids repetition.
Suggested Rewrites
- it has been becoming a trend finding it has become a trend to investigate
- life lives
- benefits for many aspects benefits in several areas
- easing the employers making it easier for employers
- to get a necessary employee to recruit suitable employees
- data of social ranges data on social groups
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear positive position and organizes its two main reasons into distinct paragraphs, with some useful attempts to explain social benefits. However, its account of why individuals investigate family history is often indirect or implausibly framed around employer screening and government databases, while frequent awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest priority is to develop directly relevant motivations—such as identity, ancestry, or medical knowledge—with specific, logically connected support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions receive a clear answer, but the proposed motivations are only partly relevant to personal interest in family history and are unevenly developed.
Explain two directly relevant reasons people research their ancestry and support each with a concrete personal or social example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion provide broadly clear progression, although some sentences carry loosely connected or repetitive ideas.
Give each body paragraph one precise controlling idea and make every supporting sentence advance that idea in a clear sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make several points awkward or imprecise.
Prioritize natural collocations such as family upbringing, historical records, social data, and policy recommendations instead of forcing less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in clause formation, articles, prepositions, and verb patterns reduce control.
Proofread each complex sentence for a complete clause structure and correct verb pattern before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some parts of the world, it is becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of someone’s family. Why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.