In some parts of the world, it is becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of someone’s family. Why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
I definitely agree that finding the origin of a family is important for several reasonstruly crucial in terms of several reasons. Furthermore, I will explain these reasons in this essayelaborate the reasons through this essay.
The first reason is that people tend to investigate the originsclarify and identify the origin of their family to understanddetect the characteristics of every member psychologically and biologically. From a psychological perspectiveIn psychological view, people may havewe are claimed to have a similar character towith other family members as well as a similar way of responding to problemsbehaviour on how we face the problems. Moreover, biologically, it is clear that we inherit characteristics from our parentsget the character genetically from parents, then by observing and identifying this biological feature we are able to understand why we possess a certain character and how to change these characteristics in the futurechange the character in future for future generationsthe next offspring.
The second reason is that we face many criminal cases nowadays involving adopted childrenin terms of adopting children which can leave them with unclear identitieswhich give unclear identity for those children in the future when they are registered with an immigration officeregistered in migration office as well as when they are enrolled in schoolsent to the school. This condition gets some people to identify the history of the family to avoid the administrative difficultiesconstraints in administration process in every place where they are. For example, they absolutely need the parents' dates of birthdata of parent birth date as well as their valid address in making a family card. They then try to find out some information from people around them.
On the other hand, there are some people who believe that this action is merely a waste ofthe time. There is no advantage to think more about the past or the history of a family. However, every person has his/her own pride to identify the characteristics of family members. We cannot deny that they are all memorable to be memorised forever. The most important thing is that we must respect the way people love their family.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its attempt to explain family-history research through inherited characteristics and identity or administrative needs. Its main limitation is an uncertain evaluation of whether the trend is positive or negative, with the final paragraph implying approval instead of stating and developing a clear judgement. Make that position explicit from the introduction, support it with a focused reason, and revise frequent awkward word choices and sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response offers two relevant reasons and implies a positive view, but the evaluative part of the task is insufficiently explicit and developed.
State clearly whether the development is positive or negative and devote a paragraph to explaining that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic sequencing make the main stages identifiable, although progression weakens when the final paragraph shifts abruptly to an opposing view.
Use the final body paragraph to evaluate the trend consistently, then add a concise conclusion that restates the judgement.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers psychology, biology, identity, and administration, but frequent unnatural combinations and imprecise choices limit clarity.
Replace phrases such as “in psychological view,” “get the character genetically,” “constraints in administration process,” and “waste the time.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but article, preposition, agreement, and clause-connection errors occur frequently.
Break long clauses into controlled sentences and check articles and prepositions in phrases such as “from their parents” and “a waste of time.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some parts of the world, it is becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of someone’s family. Why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.