The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offencesoffenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The standards of road safety are deteriorating gradually since owning a personal vehicle has become so convenient. The frequency of accidents has risen over the past few years at an alarming rate and the figures keep on escalating. Some believe that the cause of such mishaps is the absence of stringent laws and this system has to be reformed so that offenders are faced with dire consequences. I firmly support this notion and agree that traffic rules have to be toughened to ensure the safety of the public. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on the topic and justify my views with relevant instances.
Firstly, owing to the presence of lax regulations to abide by when travelling on public roads, individuals become careless and put their own as well as the lives of pedestrians in danger. This issue of reckless driving is more evident in small towns and villages where roads are mostly vacant. Nevertheless, city dwellers are also in the same plight, especially when travelling on public transport. Secondly, this kind of heedless action of public transportation employees puts the lives of many regular commuters at risk. Thus, to curb these tendencies, stricter by-laws have to be implemented by the government.
Furthermore, the non-existence of severe laws is not the sole reason for the declining level of traffic safety, but the improper execution of authority is also a crucial source of traffic disasters. The presence of corruption among law enforcers is more observable day by day. This had led drivers to believe that they are immune from the legal repercussions of their unlawful road activities.
Although, an argument can be made on the fact that a considerable amount of traffic accidents are the outcome of mere mischance and the blame cannot be wholly put on anyone. Therefore, in such a situation penalising the parties involved will only dissatisfaction among the public. That being said, the need for safety is more immediate than enforcement of law properly during such exceptions.
Finally, I would add that with the pace at which humanity is progressing, soon every roadway is bound to be congested with traffic, and when that time comes, the negligence towards complete road safety will be consequential.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural collocation Original: figures keep on escalating Suggested revision: figures keep rising Why it matters: Figures rise rather than escalate in this statistical context.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: this system Suggested revision: the legal framework Why it matters: The original demonstrative has no clear noun antecedent.
- 3. Improve the collocation Original: traffic rules have to be toughened Suggested revision: traffic rules have to be made stricter Why it matters: Rules are more naturally described as being made stricter.
- 4. Fix the modifier Original: lax regulations to abide by Suggested revision: lax regulations governing travel Why it matters: The original infinitive illogically presents lax regulations as the cause of carelessness.
- 5. Restore the missing noun Original: put their own as well as the lives Suggested revision: put their own lives as well as the lives Why it matters: 'Their own' needs the noun 'lives' to form a parallel object.
- 6. Choose the natural adjective Original: vacant Suggested revision: empty Why it matters: Roads are naturally described as empty when they have little traffic.
- 7. Name the shared risk Original: plight Suggested revision: danger Why it matters: 'Danger' refers more precisely to the road-safety risk described here.
- 8. Link the example accurately Original: Secondly, this kind Suggested revision: In particular, this kind Why it matters: The sentence develops the public-transport example rather than introducing a separate second main point.
- 9. Identify the relevant drivers Original: public transportation employees Suggested revision: public-transport drivers Why it matters: The narrower term identifies the employees whose driving can endanger passengers.
- 10. Use the correct term Original: stricter by-laws Suggested revision: stricter traffic laws Why it matters: Traffic laws is the precise term for rules governing road use.
- 11. Fix the collocation Original: non-existence of severe laws Suggested revision: absence of strict laws Why it matters: Laws are described as strict, while 'severe' more naturally describes punishments.
- 12. Use the right collocation Original: execution Suggested revision: exercise Why it matters: Authority is exercised rather than executed.
Suggested Rewrites
- figures keep on escalating figures keep rising
- this system the legal framework
- traffic rules have to be toughened traffic rules have to be made stricter
- lax regulations to abide by lax regulations governing travel
- put their own as well as the lives put their own lives as well as the lives
- vacant empty
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a generally clear stance and uses an appropriately formal range of vocabulary to discuss road safety. Its main limitation is incomplete engagement with the claim that stricter punishments are the only solution: much of the discussion shifts toward general laws, enforcement, corruption, and accidental crashes, creating some contradiction. The priority is to evaluate punishments directly and sustain one logically consistent position through the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A position is stated and relevant safety concerns are discussed, but the specific claim about stricter punishments being the only solution is only partially addressed.
Distinguish punishments from laws and enforcement, then explain consistently whether other safety measures are also necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is broadly clear, though several shifts and references weaken progression and the final paragraph does not function as a focused conclusion.
Use each body paragraph for one clearly signposted reason and end with a concise conclusion that resolves the earlier qualification.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of formal topic vocabulary, but several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Prioritize natural combinations such as stricter penalties, effective enforcement, and accidental collisions over inflated or loosely matched phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex structures, but recurring errors in clauses, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction reduce control.
Check every complex sentence for a complete main clause, especially after subordinators such as although and in result clauses with will.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offencesoffenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.