The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offencesoffenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some individuals believe that the only effective way to improve road safety is to impose much stricter punishments for driving offences. I firmly disagree with this statement because although tough penalties can help lower dangerous behaviour, they are not the only or most comprehensive solution.
To begin with, strict punishments such as huge fines, licence dismissals, or even imprisonment can surely discourage drivers from committing serious offences like drunk driving or speeding. When the citizens of a country know that violating traffic laws will lead them to face severe consequences, they are most likely to behave responsibly. For instance, in most countries, stricter drink-driving laws have contributed to a noticeable reduction in on-road accidents.
However, relying only on harsher penalties overlooks other important factors that influence road safety. Many of the accidents occur due to the damage on the roads, less lighting at night, or unclear signboards. Improving the infrastructure of a city can greatly help its citizens avoid accidents. Moreover, investing in driver’s education is also a suggestion since the government can address the common mistakes that occur due to inexperience or the misunderstanding of traffic rules.
To conclude, although stricter punishments can play a crucial role in directly promoting safer driving, they are also far from the only method available. A proper and well-balanced approach that combines law enforcement, proper education, and a better road infrastructure is even more effective in ensuring long-term road safety for everyone.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise collocation Original: lower dangerous behaviour Suggested revision: reduce dangerous driving Why it matters: This directly names the behaviour that road penalties are intended to reduce.
- 2. Restore parallel structure Original: only or most comprehensive solution Suggested revision: only solution or the most comprehensive one Why it matters: The repeated noun reference makes the two coordinated alternatives grammatically parallel.
- 3. Use formal collocation Original: huge Suggested revision: heavy Why it matters: Heavy fines is the conventional formal collocation for severe financial penalties.
- 4. Name penalty correctly Original: dismissals Suggested revision: suspensions Why it matters: A driving licence is suspended or revoked rather than dismissed.
- 5. Use measured wording Original: surely discourage Suggested revision: effectively deter Why it matters: This formal collocation avoids an unnecessarily absolute claim.
- 6. Simplify verb pattern Original: will lead them to face Suggested revision: will result in Why it matters: The replacement creates a more concise grammatical link to severe consequences.
- 7. Use standard term Original: on-road accidents Suggested revision: road accidents Why it matters: Road accidents is the conventional term in this context.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: Many of the accidents Suggested revision: Many accidents Why it matters: No previously defined set of accidents justifies the definite article here.
- 9. Describe conditions naturally Original: damage on the roads Suggested revision: poor road conditions Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for unsafe or damaged road surfaces.
- 10. Use precise quantity Original: less Suggested revision: inadequate Why it matters: Lighting is evaluated by adequacy rather than by a comparative amount here.
- 11. Name measure directly Original: is also a suggestion Suggested revision: is another useful measure Why it matters: An investment is a measure or proposal, while calling it a suggestion is awkward and imprecise.
- 12. Use concise terminology Original: much stricter punishments for driving offences Suggested revision: far harsher penalties for driving offences Why it matters: Penalties is more concise and conventional than punishments in this legal context.
Suggested Rewrites
- lower dangerous behaviour reduce dangerous driving
- only or most comprehensive solution only solution or the most comprehensive one
- huge heavy
- dismissals suspensions
- surely discourage effectively deter
- will lead them to face will result in
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear disagreement throughout and presents a well-balanced explanation of why penalties should be combined with infrastructure and education. The main weakness is that support remains somewhat general and the response falls slightly below the expected length, while several awkward word choices reduce precision. Develop one alternative measure in greater depth and revise collocations so the argument sounds more exact and natural.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained, and the response addresses both the value of punishment and the importance of alternative measures with relevant support.
Extend the explanation of how education or infrastructure prevents accidents and support it with a more specific example while meeting the minimum length.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices clearly guide the contrast between punishment and other measures.
Strengthen progression within the third paragraph by explaining each alternative fully before moving to the next one.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for the topic, but several imprecise collocations such as licence dismissals, less lighting, and driver's education reduce naturalness.
Use established expressions such as licence suspension, inadequate lighting, and driver education, and avoid unnecessary repetition of proper.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of simple and complex structures with generally accurate control and clear meaning throughout.
Polish article, possessive, and comparison choices in phrases such as many of the accidents, driver's education, and most likely to behave.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offencesoffenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.