The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people believe that the research for green and safe energy as a replacement for oil should be the main global priority these days. To a certain point, I would agree with that, but some considerations should be cautiously measured as well. It is true that as for the sake of the environment, people should seek for a safer and cleaner source of energy. It is undeniable that the world has become overdependence on fossil fuels such as coal and oil as their source of energy. Consequently, air pollution has become a serious issue in certain cities such as Beijing and Mexico City. Therefore, some countries have been spending a large amount of money for the development of the renewable energy. Some of the examples would be the solar panel system, windmill, nuclear plant and hydro. In fact, the time has come for the world to work together in harmony to introduce an effective solution towards the invention and use of an alternative fossil fuel. Despite all the positive sides of alternative energy, people should also be aware of several things. Firstly, many people do not realise that some of these energy generators are also dangerous for the environment. For example, many scientists believe that nuclear power plants are friendly to the environment, but these plants must be carefully maintained. A small leakage in the generator could become a fatal issue for the society, as in such cases it became a national disaster. Secondly, the expenditure for research and development of green energy worldwide is higher than the exploration cost of fossil fuels. Consequently, the government must also provide an extra budget for that around the world. It is also difficult for all nations to work together towards the introduction of an alternative energy source. For instance, the USA might adopt a policy not to use the fossil fuel and invest in a more environment-friendly energy source, however, adopting this same policy for countries like India and Pakistan would be quite impossible. In conclusion, to a certain point, I would agree that we should seek for safer and greener sources of energy as an alternative to fossil fuels globally. But I also believe that numerous research should also be conducted with proper feasibility studies and cautious measurements as it could also have catastrophic effects on the environment as well. And then the government in each country should also provide a higher budget for research as they are more expensive than the fossil fuel exploration.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: the research for green and safe energy Suggested revision: research into green and safe energy Why it matters: Research is conducted “into” a subject, not “for” it in this context.
- 2. Use standard expression Original: point Suggested revision: extent Why it matters: “To a certain extent” is the standard phrase for expressing partial agreement.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: considerations should be cautiously measured Suggested revision: factors should be carefully considered Why it matters: Factors are “considered,” whereas the original verb does not fit this meaning.
- 4. Remove redundant words Original: as for the sake of Suggested revision: for the sake of Why it matters: “As for” cannot be combined with “for the sake of” in this construction.
- 5. Remove extra preposition Original: people should seek for Suggested revision: people should seek Why it matters: The transitive verb “seek” takes its object without “for” here.
- 6. Use adjective form Original: become overdependence on Suggested revision: become overly dependent on Why it matters: After “become,” this meaning requires the adjective “dependent,” not the noun “dependence.”
- 7. Fix pronoun agreement Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the singular noun “world.”
- 8. Use spending collocation Original: for Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Money is spent “on” an activity or project.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the renewable energy Suggested revision: renewable energy Why it matters: “Renewable energy” is used as an uncountable general concept here.
- 10. Make phrasing direct Original: Some of the examples Suggested revision: Examples Why it matters: The shorter form introduces the list more directly and naturally.
- 11. Use accurate category Original: solar panel system Suggested revision: solar-power systems Why it matters: The plural phrase matches the list of energy technologies more accurately.
- 12. Use parallel energy terms Original: windmill, nuclear plant and hydro Suggested revision: wind turbines, nuclear power plants and hydropower Why it matters: These terms are parallel and accurately name the energy technologies.
Suggested Rewrites
- the research for green and safe energy research into green and safe energy
- point extent
- considerations should be cautiously measured factors should be carefully considered
- as for the sake of for the sake of
- people should seek for people should seek
- become overdependence on become overly dependent on
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a relevant, qualified position and develops useful discussion of environmental benefits, safety risks, costs, and international feasibility. However, it does not directly evaluate why alternative-energy research should or should not outrank other global priorities, and the single-block organisation weakens readability; the main improvement is to state the extent of agreement precisely and structure a direct comparison with competing priorities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a qualified opinion and develops relevant benefits and reservations, but it only partly addresses the claim that this should be the most important global priority.
State the exact extent of agreement and compare energy research directly with at least one competing global priority.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a recognisable progression through benefits, risks, feasibility, and conclusion, but the absence of paragraph divisions makes the argument harder to navigate.
Separate the introduction, supporting case, qualifications, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but frequent word-form and collocation problems reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as dependence on fossil fuels, invest in renewable energy, and extensive research, and avoid calling renewables alternative fossil fuels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, although recurring errors in articles, agreement, tense, countability, and punctuation are noticeable.
Review noun phrases and verb agreement systematically, then divide overextended sentences to improve grammatical accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.