In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Sample Response
People used to go shopping only to meet their daily needsbecause of a daily needs, whereas it has recently becomewhile recently it changes to be a kind of hobbyhobbies for people. Some state that shopping is an activity which can reduce boredom; therefore, it isboredom, thus it is beneficial for peoplegreat for people to do so. I personally believe that going shopping is not only for spending money, but you can find some benefits by doing this kind of activities. Therefore, through this essay, I will support my view with some considerations.
The first idea is that people love shopping because it can refresh their minds. By going shopping round you will be able to forget the things which burden you. For instance, young adults prefer to do the shopping after taking their final examinationsafter having the final examination. They will try to entertain themselves by buying something which is interesting and they will feel satisfiedobtain a satisfaction at the time. ConsequentlyAs a consequently, they temporarily forgetdirectly forget about the difficulties encountered during the exam.
In addition, going shopping is not merely about buying itemsnot only the case of buying something such as clothes, bags or even accessories. Shopping can also be a form of recreation in whichShopping also means amusement in which people visit some shopping places to gather with family or friends. They just tend to spend their time in the lovely places which provide plenty of entertainmenta lot of entertainments, thus they can enjoy their leisure time with joy and have funwith full of joy and fun.
To sum up, go shopping could be a bad habit that can addict people to do so. However, shoppingShopping is a great hobby which can help people overcomeovercoming their stress or even anxiety. This is becauseIt occurs because shoppingdoing shopping will make them more relaxedrelax and forget about their problems.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly organised around two relevant benefits of shopping as a hobby, and its examples make the general positive position easy to follow. The main limitation is that this position is only partly evaluated because the conclusion introduces an undeveloped addiction drawback, while frequent grammar and collocation errors weaken precision. Prioritise a clearer judgement about the extent of the trend's value, support any acknowledged disadvantage, and edit recurring sentence-level errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a broadly positive view and develops two relevant benefits, but the evaluation remains somewhat limited and uneven.
State exactly how positive the trend is and either develop the addiction drawback in the body or remove it from the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear paragraph structure and overall progression, though linking is sometimes mechanical and ideas are not always tightly connected.
Use referencing and transitions to show the logical relationship between stress relief, socialising, and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but frequent word-choice and collocation problems reduce naturalness.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as obtain a satisfaction, a lot of entertainments, and addict people with standard expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts both simple and complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, word forms, articles, and complements are noticeable.
Practise accurate noun forms and verb patterns, especially plural agreement, gerunds after help, and adjective forms after make.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.