In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Sample Response
The modernmillennial era has witnessed a new style of shopping. Earlier people used to consider itused to consider it is a daily errand. However, modernization made shopping as a favorite leisure-time activity which, I differ by stating it’s an only decisive trend until it does not exceed its limitations.
In the pastpre-urbanization era, peoplecivilians used to visit the shops and ended up buyingconcluded in buying only the necessary items. For example, In our childhood new clothes would be presented to us for a few festivals or additional furniture would be when the old item has been destroyed. By contrastOn the contrary, in the 21st century, people either indulge themselveswould either indulge themselves in online shopping or buy themselves a new pair of shoes to relieve boredombeat the boredom.
The changing trends can be attributed to certain reasons such as easyapparent access to moneyand an uncomplicated shopping process, the uncomplicated shopping process. To elaborateTo elaborate in detail, the introduction of card paymentstechnological invention of plastic money made shopping effortless. Despite not having cash,Despite, not having capital people buy onusing credit and pay later. The emergence of numerous shopping malls, along with year-round discountsdiscounted prices for 365 days is also regardedis also, regarded as the plausible cause for people being lured towards shopping.
On the flip side, there are several problemsthey are set of impediments that occur when shopping exceeds the normalcy and becomes an addiction. A strong desire to own a prized possession can leadcan be leading the individual to either steal or commit a crime. The repeated activity of buying unwanted things can be the underlying reason for such theftsassociative logic behind such thefts.
In the final analysis, I concur that even though, shopping relieves stress and compliments people with a good sense of sight, it should be performed only when necessary. Associating oneself, in spending money on unnecessary goods may drain us financially and mentally.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies plausible reasons for hobby shopping and some financial and behavioral risks, with a recognizable progression across paragraphs. Its main limitation is that the required evaluation of whether the trend is positive remains unclear and underdeveloped, as causes receive more attention than benefits. The highest-priority improvement is to establish a precise extent position and develop balanced evidence that directly tests that judgment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses the trend and its risks, but the extent judgment is unclear and positive effects receive very limited development.
Give a precise position in the introduction and devote the main paragraphs to weighing developed benefits against developed drawbacks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and broad progression are evident, although some tangential explanation and mechanical connectors weaken the argument's focus.
Use each paragraph to advance one part of the evaluation and remove causal material that does not directly support the judgment.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss consumer behavior, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices reduce clarity and naturalness.
Choose familiar, precise expressions and check collocations such as positive trend, excessive spending, and financial strain.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, verb forms, punctuation, and clause construction sometimes strain meaning.
Build accurate main clauses first, then attach dependent clauses while checking tense consistency and comma placement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.