Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The earlier we can ban smoking in public places, the better it would be for the human kind. Having foreseen the same, many offices and governing bodies imposed a strict ban on public smoking. This measure is generally applauded by the majority of mass. However, the opposing minority interrupt this ban as an act of arrest on one's free will. Let us discourse on this moot issue below.
It is generally agreed and even proven with scientific studies, that smoking is injurious to health. Health problems that smoking can induce are numerous. Cancer is among the major detrimental effects of smoking on one’s health. As it is rightly displayed on the cigar packets, smoking is one of the primary factors leading to cancer. Furthermore, effects of smoking on the systemic and peripheral circulation in the human body are appalling, as put forward by medical experts. The havoc of this insane habit is so horrifying, that research points towards its possible harmful effects on unborn children, even. Smoking is considered as a culprit among the many, behind the congenital birth defects and anomalies.
Another factor significant to this context would be the financial constraints imposed by smoking. In many developing countries, where people work on daily wages, the habit of smoking has an atrocious impact on their quality of life. In the majority of the mediocre families, around the world, smoking drains the significant part of their family budgets. For example, I witnessed many problems with reference to my father being a chronic smoker and the financial crisis it caused.
The amount of carbon and other toxic elements exhaled to the atmosphere by active smokers has reached such dizzy heights that its effect on passive smokers is more or less a reality now. In fact, the effect of first-hand smoke is seen permeable to even the second and third-hand smokers in the spectrum. The significance of the public ban on smoking is not just justifying but a necessity as it calls for. As a result, it is widely banned in some offices and institutions. Awareness programmes are being conducted all around the world against this habit. Though the public ban on smoking is an individual constraint to one's freedom, considering the passive effects of smoking I would strongly accord win the ban. In my view, this would be a punitive measure to safeguard the health and wealth of the public or the society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use one-word form Original: human kind Suggested revision: humankind Why it matters: The standard noun is written as one word.
- 2. Clarify the link Original: Having foreseen the same Suggested revision: In response to this concern Why it matters: The original participial phrase has an unclear reference and does not logically connect to the ban.
- 3. Keep tense consistent Original: imposed Suggested revision: have imposed Why it matters: The present perfect fits an action whose result remains relevant to the current discussion.
- 4. Use natural quantification Original: the majority of mass Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: The original combination of majority and mass is not idiomatic.
- 5. Correct the word choice Original: interrupt this ban Suggested revision: interpret this ban Why it matters: Interpret means understand something in a particular way, whereas interrupt has a different meaning.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: an act of arrest on one's free will Suggested revision: a restriction on individual freedom Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic and obscures the intended meaning.
- 7. Use a direct verb Original: discourse on Suggested revision: discuss Why it matters: Discuss is the natural verb for introducing consideration of an issue.
- 8. Fix clause construction Original: proven with scientific studies, that Suggested revision: shown by scientific studies that Why it matters: The revision corrects both the preposition and the unnecessary comma before the content clause.
- 9. Name the correct product Original: cigar packets Suggested revision: cigarette packets Why it matters: Health warnings in this smoking context are described on cigarette packets.
- 10. Add the article Original: effects of smoking on the systemic Suggested revision: the effects of smoking on the systemic Why it matters: The specific plural noun phrase requires the definite article after Furthermore.
- 11. Remove the comma Original: so horrifying, that Suggested revision: so horrifying that Why it matters: A comma should not separate the so...that construction.
- 12. Place adverb naturally Original: unborn children, even Suggested revision: even unborn children Why it matters: Even should directly precede the noun phrase it emphasizes.
Suggested Rewrites
- human kind humankind
- Having foreseen the same In response to this concern
- imposed have imposed
- the majority of mass most people
- interrupt this ban interpret this ban
- an act of arrest on one's free will a restriction on individual freedom
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear pro-ban position and offers several developed reasons, with the discussion of passive smoking providing the strongest direct support for the claim. However, substantial attention to smokers' own health and finances weakens the focus on why smoking should be prohibited specifically in public places. Prioritise the effects on nearby people and explain more precisely how a public ban addresses those harms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear opinion is maintained and supported, but some developed material concerns smoking generally rather than the specific case for a public-place ban.
Make each body paragraph explicitly demonstrate why smoking in shared spaces justifies the proposed restriction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a generally logical sequence with clear paragraph-level topics, although some links within and between ideas are imprecise.
Use a more focused progression from public harm to justification and then to the final position, removing loosely connected points.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows considerable range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace forced expressions with standard combinations, especially when describing public opinion, personal freedom, and exposure to smoke.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main message, despite recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and punctuation.
Review sentence boundaries and noun-phrase grammar, then check each complex sentence for accurate agreement and preposition use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.