Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many people argue that majority of people prefer to work in one company all their whole lifetime of employment and this is a better option for employees. However, another group of people would prefer to work for as many as they could work to get diverse kind of experience. I would advocate the latter view for the following three main reasons. First, we need to build confidence with a variety of work experiences at our majored field. Second, we need to give us the opportunity to deal with bigger and new challenges. Finally, we need to be familiar with all types of industries to improve our knowledge and scope of learning.
First of all, as I mentioned before, we should build confidence with various kind of works through facing different difficulties. If you work for only one organisation during all your lifetime, it becomes boring and monotonous and you could not challenge yourself on different occasions. Your work will become easier for you and you will not explore your hidden advantages to deal new challenges. Thus if you just adapt to your current work, you won’t be able to build your confidence. Therefore, you need to work with several companies with different responsibilities to improve and experience along with confidence.
Secondly, we need to give us the opportunity to pursue bigger challenges. It is considered that there must be bigger and new chances to expand your view in the new environment. You can meet a wide range of people who came from different backgrounds. Therefore, you can learn many things to develop and inspire your mind from them. After that, it is more open to thinking wider and further to pursue bigger challenges. So you should flourish your development and always bring freshness into your knowledge and experience every single day. I can say that if you have to switch your job in a higher position in another company you should grab it. You never know what potentials are waiting for you!
Finally, we need to familiar with all types of products to increase our skill and knowledge at our field. Because there are so many products and works need to familiar. If you want to promote or develop yourself efficiently you should have optimal knowledge about all of them. For instance, if you are a marketing people, there are diverse kinds of products available in the market likely: electronic, consumer goods, foods, clothes, automobiles and others. All products that I mentioned need marketing; however, they all have their own specific features and that means they have different customers and market. Therefore, you need to familiar with all industries products at your field to promote and accomplish your mission.
To conclude, we would prefer to work for different companies that could share us specific advantages to build confidence as well as give us the opportunity to pursue bigger challenges and familiar with diverse kind of industries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: majority of people Suggested revision: the majority of people Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article 'the'.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: all their whole lifetime of employment Suggested revision: their entire working lives Why it matters: The original phrase is redundant and unidiomatic.
- 3. Complete comparison Original: work for as many as they could work Suggested revision: work for as many organisations as they can Why it matters: The comparative structure needs a noun and consistent tense.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: kind Suggested revision: kinds Why it matters: 'Diverse' refers to more than one kind, so the noun should be plural.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: at our majored field Suggested revision: in our chosen field Why it matters: 'Majored field' is not a natural expression for an area of work.
- 6. Use reflexive pronoun Original: give us the opportunity to deal with bigger and new challenges Suggested revision: give ourselves the opportunity to take on bigger, new challenges Why it matters: The subject and object refer to the same people, so a reflexive pronoun is needed.
- 7. Correct noun forms Original: various kind of works Suggested revision: various kinds of work Why it matters: 'Kind' should be plural after 'various', while 'work' is uncountable here.
- 8. Use concise phrasing Original: during all your lifetime Suggested revision: throughout your working life Why it matters: This is the natural expression for the entire period of employment.
- 9. Add preposition Original: deal new challenges Suggested revision: deal with new challenges Why it matters: The verb 'deal' requires 'with' before its object.
- 10. Clarify intended meaning Original: adapt to your current work Suggested revision: remain in your current job Why it matters: The revision more accurately expresses staying in one position rather than adapting to it.
- 11. Supply possessive object Original: improve and experience along with confidence Suggested revision: improve your experience and confidence Why it matters: The verb needs clear noun objects linked by a parallel structure.
- 12. Use reflexive pronoun Original: us Suggested revision: ourselves Why it matters: Use a reflexive object because 'we' create the opportunity for ourselves.
Suggested Rewrites
- majority of people the majority of people
- all their whole lifetime of employment their entire working lives
- work for as many as they could work work for as many organisations as they can
- kind kinds
- at our majored field in our chosen field
- give us the opportunity to deal with bigger and new challenges give ourselves the opportunity to take on bigger, new challenges
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear preference for changing employers and develops three relevant benefits—confidence, greater challenges, and broader industry knowledge—with a useful marketing example. Its main limitation is incomplete task coverage: the case for remaining with one organisation is barely discussed, so the required comparison is unbalanced. Prioritise a full paragraph on stability, promotion, loyalty, or specialist knowledge before weighing both options explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The preference for working at different organisations is clear and extensively supported, but the advantages of staying with one employer are almost entirely omitted.
Develop the first view through benefits such as security, internal promotion, long-term relationships, and deep organisational expertise before giving a comparative judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction previews three reasons and the body follows that sequence in distinct paragraphs, though repetition and overextended development make progression less efficient.
Balance the structure around the two required views and remove repeated statements about confidence and challenges.
Lexical Resource
There is enough work-related vocabulary to express the main ideas, but frequent inaccurate collocations, word forms, and repetition reduce clarity.
Use natural phrases such as 'gain varied experience,' 'work in one's field,' 'take on new challenges,' and 'broaden industry knowledge.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in verb patterns, articles, plurals, agreement, and fragments sometimes make ideas difficult to process.
Check infinitive forms such as 'need to become familiar' and rewrite fragments and overloaded conditional sentences as complete units.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.