Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the past, people were more inclined towards working in the same organisation for their entire life. Today, different individuals have a varied opinion about the work options. Some people prefer working for same company throughout their life, while others believe in switching their companies. Both viewpoints will be critiqued before reaching a reasoned conclusion.
On the one hand, there are a group of individuals who dedicate their professional life for one corporation only. The primary reason for following this is the stability which can be achieved only by working at the same place for a longer time. This will not only allow employees to gain thorough knowledge about the application but also increase the chances of recognitions and promotions. Thus, it is obvious that professional life will be at the advantage in case he is employed in the same industry for a lifetime.
On the other hand, there are some individuals who believe that they are benefited by altering companies. This is because such folks can get exposure to different working environments, thereby, allowing them to get trained about different systems available in the market. This can increase the market value of an individual, resulting in receiving offers with a higher salary, and hence, financial stability can be attained at an earlier stage. In conclusion, this will enable individual to lead a successful and secure personal life.
After analysing both the views, it is apparent that varying jobs should be preferred over other since it can provide better family life. Thus, it is recommended that public will keep themselves motivated for shifting industries which can help them to enjoy their life and fulfil family requirements.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural preposition Original: towards working Suggested revision: to working Why it matters: The adjective 'inclined' is more naturally followed by 'to' and a gerund here.
- 2. Match plural subject Original: a varied opinion Suggested revision: varied opinions Why it matters: The plural subject 'individuals' requires a plural noun in this general statement.
- 3. Choose precise wording Original: the work options Suggested revision: employment options Why it matters: 'Employment options' expresses the intended professional choices more precisely.
- 4. Add definite article Original: working for same company Suggested revision: working for the same company Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase requires 'the' in this comparison.
- 5. Use correct collocation Original: switching their companies Suggested revision: changing employers Why it matters: People change employers rather than switch companies that they possess.
- 6. Fix agreement Original: there are a group Suggested revision: there is a group Why it matters: The verb must agree with the singular head noun 'group'.
- 7. Fix number and preposition Original: dedicate their professional life for Suggested revision: dedicate their professional lives to Why it matters: The plural possessors require 'lives', and 'dedicate' takes the preposition 'to'.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: following this Suggested revision: doing so Why it matters: 'Doing so' refers more clearly to remaining with one organisation.
- 9. Use defining relative Original: the stability which Suggested revision: the stability that Why it matters: 'That' is the more natural relative pronoun in this defining clause.
- 10. Replace vague noun Original: knowledge about the application Suggested revision: knowledge of the organisation Why it matters: 'Application' does not clearly identify what employees learn in this context.
- 11. Use uncountable noun Original: chances of recognitions Suggested revision: chances of recognition Why it matters: 'Recognition' is uncountable when it means acknowledgement for one's work.
- 12. Use idiomatic expression Original: professional life will be at the advantage Suggested revision: an employee's professional life will benefit Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic and obscures the intended benefit.
Suggested Rewrites
- towards working to working
- a varied opinion varied opinions
- the work options employment options
- working for same company working for the same company
- switching their companies changing employers
- there are a group there is a group
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents both employment patterns and states a clear preference, with separate body paragraphs that make the overall line of argument easy to follow. However, the supporting ideas remain somewhat general and the final rationale shifts from changing organisations to changing industries, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors reduce precision. Develop the comparison with more specific consequences and examples, then edit carefully for articles, agreement, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views and a clear preference are presented, but several ideas are general or only partly developed and the conclusion blurs organisations with industries.
Support each view with a specific workplace consequence or example and keep the final position focused on changing organisations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear four-paragraph progression, although some linking is mechanical and several references between ideas are imprecise.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and make pronoun and reference links point clearly to the exact preceding idea.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss careers and stability, but recurring awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices limit precision.
Replace expressions such as altering companies and shifting industries with natural, task-accurate career vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main meaning, but errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, and sentence structure recur.
Proofread each sentence for article use and subject-verb agreement before refining more complex clause structures.