While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? What is your view?
Sample Response
I strongly agree with the fact that some students opt for weekend or evening job while studying. As education is becoming more and more expensive, the financial burden is increasing for the parents. A working student can help their parents financially.
Apart from financial independence, there are so many other benefits of doing a part time job. Students get the experience of working somewhere as an employee before completing studies. Students get an idea about how to manage study and job together. So, thus they learn time management as well. They become more mature and responsible towards their life. Sometimes, it makes them proud to their selves. Par time weekend job keeps students focused on their needs and thus help them support their expenses. This also creates a savings mentality among them from an earlier age. They become self-dependent and gain valuable experience from their jobs. I believe doing a part time job while studying is essential for students who come from abroad. It helps not only to survive but also to get settled with new place and culture.
Contradiction to the above-discussed benefits, sometimes it may affect studies. Students may get stressed because of the burden of work. Sometimes they cannot manage both responsibilities very well. Many universities ask to attend classes regularly without fail. Generally, examination also puts too much pressure on students. Universities should provide guidance to the students and support them to find a part time job. Universities should have tied up with different business firms or organisations which again provide support to the students.
So, I conclude that one should identify own requirement and circumstances to decide whether to do a job or not.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: job Suggested revision: jobs Why it matters: The plural noun is needed because this refers generally to jobs taken by students.
- 2. Improve job phrase Original: benefits of doing a part time job Suggested revision: benefits of having a part-time job Why it matters: Having a job is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 3. Add possessive determiner Original: before completing studies Suggested revision: before completing their studies Why it matters: Studies needs a determiner that refers back to the students.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: manage study and job together Suggested revision: balance their studies and work Why it matters: Balance studies and work expresses the intended idea more naturally.
- 5. Remove duplicate linker Original: So, thus Suggested revision: Thus Why it matters: So and thus perform the same linking function, so using both is redundant.
- 6. Correct preposition and number Original: responsible towards their life Suggested revision: responsible for their lives Why it matters: Responsible takes for, and lives should agree with the plural subject.
- 7. Correct reflexive phrase Original: proud to their selves Suggested revision: proud of themselves Why it matters: The correct construction is proud of themselves.
- 8. Fix agreement and verb Original: thus help them support Suggested revision: thus helps them cover Why it matters: The singular subject requires helps, and cover expenses is the natural construction.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: a savings mentality Suggested revision: a habit of saving Why it matters: A habit of saving is more idiomatic than a savings mentality here.
- 10. Use standard phrase Original: earlier Suggested revision: early Why it matters: From an early age is the established expression.
- 11. Choose idiomatic adjective Original: dependent Suggested revision: reliant Why it matters: Self-reliant is the standard adjective for being able to support oneself.
- 12. Fix parallel structure Original: not only to survive but also to get settled with new place and culture Suggested revision: not only survive but also settle into a new place and culture Why it matters: The paired construction needs parallel verbs, and place requires an article.
Suggested Rewrites
- job jobs
- benefits of doing a part time job benefits of having a part-time job
- before completing studies before completing their studies
- manage study and job together balance their studies and work
- So, thus Thus
- responsible towards their life responsible for their lives
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant coverage of several financial and personal benefits, alongside some recognition of pressure on study. Its main limitation is that ideas are often listed rather than fully explained, while the initially strong endorsement becomes a more conditional position in the conclusion. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer points with specific reasoning and maintain one clearly qualified view throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses benefits, drawbacks, and the writer’s view, but several points remain briefly asserted and the final position is less decisive than the introduction.
State a consistently qualified position and develop each main benefit or drawback with a clear consequence or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a sensible paragraph sequence and broadly clear progression, although list-like development and awkward linking weaken cohesion.
Organise each body paragraph around one central claim and use linking expressions only where the logical relationship is precise.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary for work, study, and finance, but frequent spelling and collocational errors reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate combinations such as part-time job, settle into a new culture, and take pride in themselves.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and some complex structures conveys the message, but recurring article, agreement, pronoun, and sentence-formation errors limit control.
Edit each sentence for articles, subject-verb agreement, and complete clause structure before attempting greater complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? What is your view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.