Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. One reason for this is the growth in low-cost passenger flights, often to holiday destinations. Some people say that the government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Air traffic causes more noise and pollution, and due to their increasing demand for reduced prices, more airport constructions are visible all around the world. This is why, many argue that the government should impose high taxes to dissuade people from travelling by air especially those who are travelling for holidays. However, I completely disagree with this argument because I believe that it can hamper the nation’s overall economic growth and people's freedom to move and travel.
Introducing a heavy tax on air travel proves to be catastrophic for the tourism and hospitality industry. That is to say that if tax is increased considerably, it would render flights more expensive and suppress air travel demand eventually. This can have a devastating impact on the tourism industry, including tour operators, hotels, restaurants and local businesses that heavily depend on tourism. For example, if air travel is heavily taxed in a popular tourist attraction, it would be less affordable for holidaymakers, thus reducing visitor numbers, and decreasing spending on food, accommodation and destination. It is therefore obvious that putting a high tax on air travel will lead to disastrous economic consequences.
Imposing a high tax on air transport might also prove a hindrance to people's freedom to move for various reasons including business and travel needs. That is to say that companies may refrain from sending executives on business trips or attending trade fairs and conferences due to the increased costs of air travel while people will find it hard to travel to meet their relatives and family. This can put obstacles in the way of business collaboration, global business opportunity and economic growth. It can also put a dent in people's social interactions.
To reiterate, I believe that higher taxes on air travel will slow down economic growth because the increased costs of travel might hurt the tourism sector and foreign trade opportunities. It is also a bad idea as it will restrict people from travelling and meeting others while also limiting business travel.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify demand and reference Original: due to their increasing demand for reduced prices Suggested revision: because of growing demand for lower fares Why it matters: The possessive pronoun has no clear referent, and passengers seek lower fares rather than reduced prices generally.
- 2. Use uncountable construction Original: more airport constructions are visible Suggested revision: airport construction is increasing Why it matters: “Construction” is uncountable when referring generally to the expansion of airports.
- 3. Remove incorrect comma Original: This is why, Suggested revision: This is why Why it matters: No comma should separate “why” from the clause it introduces.
- 4. Add clarifying comma Original: travelling by air especially Suggested revision: travelling by air, especially Why it matters: A comma should introduce the following phrase that specifies the affected travellers.
- 5. Use natural travel phrase Original: travelling for holidays Suggested revision: travelling on holiday Why it matters: “Travelling on holiday” is the idiomatic expression for leisure travel.
- 6. Use precise formal verb Original: hamper Suggested revision: hinder Why it matters: “Hinder” is the more natural formal verb for restricting economic growth.
- 7. Add definite article Original: if tax is increased Suggested revision: if the tax is increased Why it matters: The sentence refers to the specific air-travel tax already introduced.
- 8. Improve phrase order Original: suppress air travel demand eventually Suggested revision: eventually suppress demand for air travel Why it matters: The adverb and noun phrase are more naturally ordered in this form.
- 9. Correct destination phrase Original: taxed in a popular tourist attraction Suggested revision: taxed for travel to a popular tourist destination Why it matters: A flight is taxed for travel to a destination, not inside an attraction.
- 10. Fix spending object Original: spending on food, accommodation and destination Suggested revision: spending at the destination Why it matters: People spend money at a destination rather than spend money “on destination”.
- 11. Complete verb pattern Original: might also prove a hindrance Suggested revision: might also prove to be a hindrance Why it matters: The construction requires the infinitive “to be” before the complement.
- 12. Use plural noun Original: opportunity Suggested revision: opportunities Why it matters: The general list refers to multiple business opportunities.
Suggested Rewrites
- due to their increasing demand for reduced prices because of growing demand for lower fares
- more airport constructions are visible airport construction is increasing
- This is why, This is why
- travelling by air especially travelling by air, especially
- travelling for holidays travelling on holiday
- hamper hinder
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear and consistently maintained position, developed through relevant economic and personal-freedom arguments with specific consequences. The main limitation is occasional overstatement and imprecise phrasing, which makes some claims less nuanced; the highest-priority improvement is to qualify the predicted effects and sharpen a few collocations while preserving the effective logical structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear position and develops two relevant reasons in substantial detail.
Add brief qualification or acknowledgment of the environmental rationale to make the argument more nuanced and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphled, and easy to follow, with cohesive devices used effectively throughout.
Reduce repeated explanatory frames such as “That is to say” so connections feel more natural and varied.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary supports precise discussion, although a few collocations and emphatic terms are not fully natural.
Choose more measured, idiomatic phrasing for economic effects instead of relying on repeated catastrophic or disastrous language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of complex structures with strong control, while occasional punctuation and reference errors persist.
Refine comma placement and pronoun reference in longer sentences to make already complex ideas fully precise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. One reason for this is the growth in low-cost passenger flights, often to holiday destinations. Some people say that the government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.