Some think that governments should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It has been argued that the regime should impose a tariff on eating fast food, which is not beneficial for mankind. This step will stimulate the masses to consume staple food. I completely agree with the statement because the overweight problem can be resolved well well as traditional food cannot lose its value in modern society.
To begin with, due to fast-paced lifestyleslife, people are eating more fast foodconsuming more instant food and contributing to obesitycreating a problem of obesity. A country can prosperA government can progress well if its citizens are healthyrobust. Therefore, imposing a tax on junk food is mandatory. ConsequentlyResultantly, individuals will eat fast food less oftenindividuals will eat occasionally, and they will tend to eat healthier foodmore healthy food to keep themselves in good physical conditionin a good physique. For exampleTo exemplify it, economic recession, as well as a hike in prices of canned food, has drastically reduced the intake of readymade food. This shift largely occurred during COVID-19This largely happened during COVID-19, and people have shifted their preferences to homemade food. Thus, this approach will reduce the people's expenditureexpenditure of folk, who can use that portion of their income on other useful things.
FurthermoreMoving further, putting a tax on unhealthy food will maintain the value of traditional food, which is less popular because it takes time to preparetraditional food, which is unpopular among people due to its time-consuming process. To elaborate, readymade food can be prepared instantly, while homemade food takes a lot of time, and requires a lot of labour to prepareas well as a lot of labour, is needed to prepare it. Therefore, people avoid preparingmaking it, and consequently, its value in society decreases. So, if the government puts a tax on it, then it is beneficial to revive cultural food. A countryBecause a country is best known for its food, and if it is lost, then the identity of a country will be at stake. Imposing a taxImposing tax is highly needed to remind people of their cultural foodmake people remind about their cultural food.
To conclude, thus, it is ostensible that having a tax on unhealthy food is mandatory for the sake of good health of the people as well as for reducing their financial burden. Moreover, traditional food can be saved, which is disappearing in modern society.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and organizes two distinct supporting reasons into an easy-to-follow structure. However, the case is weakened by partially relevant or uncertain claims, particularly the shift from healthier eating to preserving traditional food, while frequent awkward word choices and sentence constructions reduce precision. Prioritize a direct causal argument showing how the tax changes food choices, then express each step with more natural vocabulary and accurately controlled complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is sustained, but some support is only partly relevant or convincingly connected to healthier eating.
Develop one precise causal chain from taxation to changed purchasing habits and health outcomes, supported by a clearly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical overall structure and clear paragraph purposes, although linking is sometimes mechanical or inaccurately signposted.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the connection between consecutive claims explicit through their content.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and unsuitable choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Prefer exact everyday academic terms such as 'government,' 'tax,' and 'people' over forced alternatives such as 'regime,' 'tariff,' and 'masses.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms communicates the main ideas, but recurring construction, agreement, and sentence-boundary errors are noticeable.
Practise building controlled complex sentences with one clear main clause, checking clause attachment, agreement, and complete sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some think that governments should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.