Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The process of learning something new can be difficult and even tiresome in many cases. That being said, guiding someone through this process is even more taxing. There is an ongoing debate on whether children should be given moral education during their school years by teachersby the teachers or the curriculum should be restricted to academics. In my opinion, it is a primaryprime responsibility of teachers to introduce moral principlesthe concepts of morality to school children. In the following paragraphs, I will explore both sides of the topic in detail and support my view with relevant examplesinstances.
First of all, it is crucial to understand the significance of primary education in the formation of a person’s personality. The ability to assess, judge and make decisions is greatly influenced by what we learn in our formative years which is during primary school. Thus, if youngsters are not given the appropriate guidanceright coaching by their teachers to recognize the valuein recognizing the value of making prudent choices at an early age, it is unlikely that they are going to acquireprocure this knowledge later on in life.
However, it is important to keep in mind that the primary aim of students is to receive training in academic disciplinesbecome trained in academic disciplines as the experience and knowledge of a student is what helps them secureprocure better employment. Presently, the qualifications of an individual are considered their identity in the corporate world and having the best trainingbest of training from reputed institutes is the goal for a majority of students. Accordingly, teachers should focus on tutoring students and making them proficient in academics as that holds more value for the current generation.
In conclusion, I would like to say that school is considered to be a second home for young children and similarly teachers are deemed to be secondary guardians. Therefore, it is the duty of our teachers to help ushelp and aid us to become educated professionals and virtuous human beings.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and gives both views a logical paragraph of relevant explanation, with generally confident vocabulary and complex sentence use. Its main limitation is that the case for teachers' moral role is asserted more than illustrated, while the conclusion slightly softens the earlier stance; the priority is to develop the opinion with a concrete example and maintain a sharper comparative judgement throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference for moral education is clear, although the supporting ideas remain somewhat general.
Develop the preferred view with a specific example and explain more explicitly why it should take priority alongside academic teaching.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with effective overall linking.
Use less formulaic signposting and make the conclusion's relationship to the earlier opinion more precise.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, though choices such as 'procure this knowledge' and 'the best of training' are occasionally unnatural.
Prioritise natural academic collocations and avoid using elevated words where simpler choices would be more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, despite occasional agreement and relative-clause errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and clause reference carefully, especially in long sentences containing several linked ideas.