Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The process of learning something new can be difficult and even tiresome in many cases. That being said, guiding someone through this process is even more taxing. There is an ongoing debate on whether children should be given moral education during their school years by the teachers or the curriculum should be restricted to academics. In my opinion, it is a prime responsibility of teachers to introduce the concepts of morality to school children. In the following paragraphs, I will explore both sides of the topic in detail and support my view with relevant instances.
First of all, it is crucial to understand the significance of primary education in the formation of a person’s personality. The ability to assess, judge and make decisions is greatly influenced by what we learn in our formative years which is during primary school. Thus, if youngsters are not given the right coaching by their teachers in recognizing the value of making prudent choices at an early age, it is unlikely that they are going to procure this knowledge later on in life.
However, it is important to keep in mind that the primary aim of students is to become trained in academic disciplines as the experience and knowledge of a student is what helps them procure better employment. Presently, the qualifications of an individual are considered their identity in the corporate world and having the best of training from reputed institutes is the goal for a majority of students. Accordingly, teachers should focus on tutoring students and making them proficient in academics as that holds more value for the current generation.
In conclusion, I would like to say that school is considered to be a second home for young children and similarly teachers are deemed to be secondary guardians. Therefore, it is the duty of our teachers to help and aid us to become educated professionals and virtuous human beings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: by the teachers Suggested revision: by teachers Why it matters: The general reference to teachers does not need the definite article.
- 2. Choose precise adjective Original: prime Suggested revision: primary Why it matters: ‘Primary’ more precisely expresses a main responsibility here.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: the concepts of morality Suggested revision: moral principles Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the intended idea more naturally.
- 4. Use essay vocabulary Original: instances Suggested revision: examples Why it matters: ‘Examples’ is the conventional word for supporting illustrations in an essay.
- 5. Use appropriate register Original: right coaching Suggested revision: appropriate guidance Why it matters: ‘Guidance’ is more suitable than ‘coaching’ for moral education.
- 6. Correct verb pattern Original: in recognizing the value Suggested revision: to recognize the value Why it matters: ‘Guidance’ takes an infinitive when stating the skill being taught.
- 7. Correct word choice Original: procure Suggested revision: acquire Why it matters: People acquire knowledge, whereas ‘procure’ usually means obtaining something through effort or arrangement.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: become trained in academic disciplines Suggested revision: receive training in academic disciplines Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the educational process more naturally.
- 9. Correct employment collocation Original: procure Suggested revision: secure Why it matters: ‘Secure employment’ is the standard collocation for obtaining a job.
- 10. Remove incorrect phrase Original: best of training Suggested revision: best training Why it matters: The expression does not require ‘of’ before the noun ‘training’.
- 11. Remove redundancy Original: help and aid us Suggested revision: help us Why it matters: ‘Help’ and ‘aid’ repeat the same meaning in this phrase.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The ability to assess, judge and make decisions is greatly influenced by what we learn in our formative years which is during primary school. Suggested revision: The ability to assess, judge and make decisions is greatly influenced by what we learn during our formative years in primary school. Why it matters: The original relative clause has an unclear antecedent and incorrect singular agreement with ‘years’.
Suggested Rewrites
- by the teachers by teachers
- prime primary
- the concepts of morality moral principles
- instances examples
- right coaching appropriate guidance
- in recognizing the value to recognize the value
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and gives both views a logical paragraph of relevant explanation, with generally confident vocabulary and complex sentence use. Its main limitation is that the case for teachers' moral role is asserted more than illustrated, while the conclusion slightly softens the earlier stance; the priority is to develop the opinion with a concrete example and maintain a sharper comparative judgement throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference for moral education is clear, although the supporting ideas remain somewhat general.
Develop the preferred view with a specific example and explain more explicitly why it should take priority alongside academic teaching.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with effective overall linking.
Use less formulaic signposting and make the conclusion's relationship to the earlier opinion more precise.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, though choices such as 'procure this knowledge' and 'the best of training' are occasionally unnatural.
Prioritise natural academic collocations and avoid using elevated words where simpler choices would be more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, despite occasional agreement and relative-clause errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and clause reference carefully, especially in long sentences containing several linked ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.