Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Some people argue that teachers should be responsible for guiding students to distinguish right from wrong, while others believe that teachers should focus only on academic subjects. In my opinion, while academic education is important, teachers also have a role in moral guidance.
On the one hand, academic learning is the main purpose of schools. Teachers are trained to teach subjects like mathematics, science, and languages, which are essential for students’ future careers. If teachers focus too much on moral education, it may distract them from their main role and reduce the time available for teaching core subjects. Furthermore, parents are usually the primary source of moral values and guidance, as they know their children best.
On the other hand, schools are also a place where students spend a large part of their day, and teachers can play a vital role in shaping their behavior. Lessons on teamwork, honesty, and responsibility can help children develop good habits and social skills. Moreover, not all parents have the ability or time to teach moral values effectively, so teachers can fill this gap.
In conclusion, I believe that a combination of academic teaching and moral guidance is ideal. While the main focus should remain on academics, teachers should also help students develop ethical behavior to prepare them for life in society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: guiding students to distinguish Suggested revision: helping students distinguish Why it matters: This wording expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 2. Choose precise term Original: education Suggested revision: instruction Why it matters: Instruction refers more precisely to what teachers provide in this context.
- 3. Sharpen the claim Original: academic learning is the main purpose of schools Suggested revision: academic instruction is the primary purpose of schools Why it matters: This revision makes the claim more precise and appropriately formal.
- 4. Use formal exemplification Original: subjects like mathematics, science, and languages Suggested revision: subjects such as mathematics, science, and languages Why it matters: Such as is a more precise way to introduce examples in formal writing.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: it may distract them from their main role Suggested revision: this may distract them from their primary role Why it matters: This points more clearly to the preceding idea of excessive focus on moral education.
- 6. Make phrasing concise Original: the time available for teaching core subjects Suggested revision: the time available to teach core subjects Why it matters: The infinitive form is more concise while preserving the meaning.
- 7. Improve the collocation Original: source Suggested revision: providers Why it matters: Providers describes the parents' active role more naturally than source.
- 8. Tighten the wording Original: main focus should remain on academics Suggested revision: primary focus should remain academic Why it matters: This version is more concise and avoids the slightly vague noun academics.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: On the other hand, schools are also a place where students spend a large part of their day, and teachers can play a vital role in shaping their behavior. Suggested revision: On the other hand, schools are also places where students spend much of their day, so teachers can play a vital role in shaping their behavior. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the plural agreement error and makes the causal link explicit.
- 10. Clarify reason sequence Suggested revision: Present the limited teaching-time point and the parents' role as two clearly signposted reasons for prioritising academic instruction. Why it matters: Clearer sequencing would strengthen progression between the paragraph's two distinct reasons.
Suggested Rewrites
- guiding students to distinguish helping students distinguish
- education instruction
- academic learning is the main purpose of schools academic instruction is the primary purpose of schools
- subjects like mathematics, science, and languages subjects such as mathematics, science, and languages
- it may distract them from their main role this may distract them from their primary role
- the time available for teaching core subjects the time available to teach core subjects
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear, balanced organisation and consistently controlled language, with both views and the writer's position easy to follow. Its main limitation is that, at 218 words, the arguments remain fairly general and receive little detailed support. The highest-priority improvement is to extend each main idea with a specific example or fuller explanation while maintaining the concise structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are addressed, but the under-length response develops its relevant ideas only briefly and generally.
Add specific examples or consequences to substantiate each side and meet the expected length.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used appropriately though somewhat conventionally.
Use more varied transitions between supporting points so the progression feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is appropriate and sufficiently varied, with effective choices such as moral guidance, core subjects, and ethical behavior.
Develop greater precision by replacing general phrases such as good habits and social skills with more context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex structures is used accurately, with punctuation and sentence control consistently secure.
Refine the range further by integrating supporting detail through more varied subordinate and participial structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.