Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is sometimes argued that we should place more emphasis on teaching local than foreign literature. While it does seem beneficial to teach local literature, I would argue that children should also be taught other nations’ literature.
To begin with, I agree that children could benefit from being taught the literature of their home country. By learning local literature, young students can better understand and appreciate the history of where they were born. For example, since all the poems about wars in [your country] are taught to the students, most of them are aware of how bloody the wars were and how important it is to stop the history from repeating itself. Without local literature, I believe that few students would be interested in studying history.
However, it seems to me that young students should also be taught about foreign works of literature. The first reason is that their home country’s literature may be too boring, which makes learning extremely frustrating. For instance, students have to memorize many poems that are hardly relevant to their lives, and therefore most of them are reluctant to study this subject. Since foreign literature gives them an entirely new learning experience, it could provide them with a motivation to study the issue. Additionally, reading the authors of other countries exposes students to a variety of different cultures, so studying it helps broaden their knowledge about other parts of the world.
In conclusion, while I accept that students can benefit from learning local literature, I believe that foreign works should also be an essential part of the curriculum.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Strengthen parallel structure Original: more emphasis on teaching local than foreign literature Suggested revision: more emphasis on teaching local literature than on teaching foreign literature Why it matters: Repeating the preposition and verb phrase makes the comparison fully parallel.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: other nations’ literature Suggested revision: literature from other countries Why it matters: This phrase is clearer and more idiomatic in this context.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: history of where they were born Suggested revision: history of their home country Why it matters: The revision identifies the place directly and avoids the awkward where-clause.
- 4. Remove placeholder text Original: [your country] Suggested revision: their country Why it matters: The bracketed template placeholder must be replaced with wording that fits the essay.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: taught to the students Suggested revision: taught to students Why it matters: Students is used generically here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 6. Correct the expression Original: stop the history from repeating itself Suggested revision: prevent history from repeating itself Why it matters: This is the established and grammatically natural expression.
- 7. Use natural passive Original: taught about foreign works of literature Suggested revision: introduced to foreign works of literature Why it matters: Introduced to works is more natural than taught about works in this sentence.
- 8. Clarify and condense Original: provide them with a motivation to study the issue Suggested revision: motivate them to study literature Why it matters: The revision removes the vague reference to issue and expresses the idea directly.
- 9. Name what is read Original: reading the authors of other countries Suggested revision: reading works by authors from other countries Why it matters: Readers engage with authors' works rather than reading the authors themselves.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: a variety of different cultures Suggested revision: a variety of cultures Why it matters: Variety already conveys difference, so different is unnecessary.
- 11. Clarify the pronoun Original: so studying it Suggested revision: so studying these works Why it matters: The plural noun phrase clearly refers back to works of literature.
- 12. Use natural preposition Original: about Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Knowledge of is the standard collocation before a subject area or place.
Suggested Rewrites
- more emphasis on teaching local than foreign literature more emphasis on teaching local literature than on teaching foreign literature
- other nations’ literature literature from other countries
- history of where they were born history of their home country
- [your country] their country
- taught to the students taught to students
- stop the history from repeating itself prevent history from repeating itself
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is clearly organised and uses a good range of sentence forms to present benefits of both local and foreign literature. Its position is understandable but does not directly judge the claim that local literature is more important, and support is weakened by the placeholder example and some broad assertions about boredom and motivation. State the degree of disagreement explicitly and replace generic claims with a specific, credible comparison.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and supports the value of both literary traditions, but its stance on the proposed priority remains somewhat indirect.
State clearly whether local literature deserves greater emphasis and use a concrete example instead of the country placeholder.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear progression, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links that are easy to follow.
Make the contrast between equal inclusion and greater priority explicit at each transition to sharpen the argumentative progression.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, though some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, including reading the authors and study the issue.
Choose more exact collocations and avoid broad evaluative language such as describing a national literature as too boring.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex sentence forms is used with strong control and only minor non-impeding errors.
Refine article, reference, and complement choices in longer sentences to achieve more consistently natural expression.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.