Some people believe that schools focus too much on academic subjects and not enough on life skills. What problems can this cause? What can be done to improve the situation?
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Sample Response
It is believed that schools focus too much on academic subjects and not enough on life skills. I believe this trend hasI believed this trends have several reasons, which can be addressedaddress in the following paragraphs.following paragraph
There are two main problems caused by schools focusing too much on academic subjects and not enough on life skills.two reasons why schools focus too much in academic subjects and not enough on life skills. First, a lack of life skills may lead to students struggling with basic responsibilities in adulthood. Many students leave school without knowing how to manage finances,cook or handle emergencies. Second, overemphasis on academic subjects can negatively impact students'mental well-being. Students may suffer from anxiety, low self-esteem, or a lack of confidence when facing real-world challenges.real world challenges
ThereTher are two solutions to address thesethis problems. First, schoolsschool should integrateintergarte life skills education into the formal curriculuminto formal curriculum. Teaching essential skills such as time management, financial literacy, or teamwork can help students prepare better for adulthood. Countries like Finlandfinland include practical subjects and lifeandd lifde skills in their school programs, resulting in well-rounded, independent students. Second, schoolsshool should organize extracurricular workshops andaqnd real-life simulation activities. SchoolsSchool could host role-play sessions for job interviewsinterview or provide community service opportunitiesopportubities to enhance interpersonal skills.interpersonal skills
In conclusion, schools focus too much on academic subjects and not enough on life skills can have several reasons such as students struggle with basic responsibilitiesresonsibilities or face anxiety, low self-esteem and lack of confidence, but it can be addressed with teaching essential skills or organizingorganize extracurricular workshops.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively identifies relevant problems and practical solutions, demonstrating a clear understanding of the prompt's main task. However, the response is slightly below the recommended word count and relies on mechanical transitional phrasing alongside frequent typographical and grammatical errors. To reach a higher level, focus on eliminating basic language mistakes through careful proofreading and refining the introduction to accurately reflect the prompt questions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses both parts of the prompt by listing clear problems and solutions, though it is slightly under the minimum word limit.
Ensure key terms in the introduction and conclusion accurately reflect 'problems' rather than framing them as 'reasons'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized into logical paragraphs, but cohesive devices are somewhat repetitive and mechanical.
Vary transitional phrases instead of repeating rigid structures like 'First' and 'Second' at the start of body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, but noticeable spelling errors and typos detract from precision.
Reserve time at the end of writing to proofread and correct obvious spelling slips such as misspelled keywords.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted, but frequent grammatical errors and poor clause structures persist.
Practice linking complex clauses accurately, especially when forming noun clauses or long concluding sentences.