Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Sample Response
In the era when science and technology are developed, the question of whether the technology development decreases crime or increases crime has sparked an intense debate. While some argue it brings fewerless crimes, I am firmly convinced it brings new crime.
On one hand, technology helpshelp to reduce many crimes in real life, such as robbery, theft and violent attack. Many streets and shops put cameras, police can see what criminals dobad man do and catch them fast. If bad people know we can track them easilyeasy, they are scared to dothey scared to do bad things in public. So robbery and street theft become less frequent in citiesbecome not so often in city. BesidesBeside, people can call for help fast when they are in dangerwhen they in danger. More and more homeshome use smart alarm, once someone breaksbreak in, the machine will send a message tosend message to owner and police at once. This makesmake many thieves dare not enter houses easily. People feel more safe when they walk outside.
On the other hand, new technology creates completely new crimestechnology create some completely new crime. These bad things do not appear before internet and computer become popular. Some people use internet to defraud people of their moneycheat other people money. For example, they send fake message online to get people’s bank money. Hackers can steal people's personal informationHacker can steal people personal information from website. This kind of crimeThis kind crime is hard to stop, because criminals hide behind screenscriminal hide behind screen and they can live far away. Many young people do not know the danger, so they easily become victimsnot know the danger, so they easy become victim. They can hide their real name and address online, so police spend much more time to find who doesdo these bad things.
In conclusion, technology create new type of crime, but its good side is bigger. Government can make strict rule to stop online bad behaviour. If we have good rule and teach people know the risk, new technology will help us have a more safe society.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the prompt and presents a clear overall opinion with logical paragraphing. However, the writing is limited by frequent grammatical errors and a basic vocabulary that relies on repetitive and informal phrasing. To achieve a higher score, focus on improving grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and noun forms, while adopting more precise academic vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both perspectives of the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the essay.
Elaborate on arguments with more sophisticated reasoning and detailed real-world examples to strengthen the development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear paragraphing and standard transition words guiding the progression of ideas.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs more naturally.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the intended meaning but relies on overly simple language and repetitive phrasing.
Replace informal expressions like bad things or bad man with more precise topic-specific vocabulary such as criminal acts or offenders.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While the message remains generally understandable, there are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and plural noun forms.
Focus on basic sentence mechanics, ensuring verbs agree with their subjects and noun forms are correctly pluralized.