Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
In the era when rapid scientific and technological developmentscience and technology are developed, the question of whether the technological advancementtechnology development decreases crime or encourages illegal activityincreases crime has sparked an intense debate. While some argue it brings fewer crimes, I am firmly convinced it brings new crime.
On one hand, technology helps to reduce many crimes in real life, such as robbery, theft and violent attacksattack. Many streets and shops install high-definition cameras which enable police to detect what criminals do and arrest them rapidly. If perpetrators know we can track them easily, they are scared to commit crimes in public. Consequently, robbery and street theftSo robbery and street theft become less frequent in cities. Besides, people can call for help immediately when they are in danger. An increasing application of household alarm systems allowsalarming systems allow people to ask for help fromask help from police officers. For instance, if someone breaks intosomeone break in their houses, the systemmachine will send messages to owners and police immediately. This makes many thieves hesitate to enterdare not enter houses easily. Thus people may feel a sense of safety.
On the other hand, new technology creates some completely new crimes. Such offencesSuch bad things do not appear before the internet and computers became popularbefore the internet and computer becoming popular. Some people use the internet to commit financial fraud. For instance, they send fake messages online to get people’s money in their accountsaccount. In addition, hackers can steal people'speople personal information from websitesfrom the website, which leads to privacy breachesdisclosure and other problems. These kinds of crimes are hard to stop, because criminals hide behind the screen and they may live in foreign countries. Many young people do not know the danger, so they easily becomeare easily become the victims.
In conclusion, technology creates new types of crimes, but its negative impacts can be reduced since governments can make strict rules to stop cybercrimesonline bad behaviours. If we have related rules and teach people the danger of such crimes, new technology will help us have a safer society.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the prompt and presents a clear, well-supported opinion on how technology influences crime. Ideas are logically organized across paragraphs with clear progression throughout. To improve further, focus on refining grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and verb forms, to ensure consistent control in complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly addresses both views of the prompt and maintains a definite position supported by relevant examples.
Ensure all parts of the prompt, including the nuanced aspects of your conclusion, are fully elaborated with deeper analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between opposing viewpoints.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid repetitive patterns at the start of body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately to discuss technological crime and prevention.
Incorporate more precise collocations and higher-level phrase structures to increase lexical sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but frequent minor grammatical errors occur throughout the text.
Review verb form structures and clause construction to eliminate minor errors like 'are easily become' and missing prepositions.