Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is believed by some that adolescent years are the happiest period of most people’s lives, while others believe that adulthood brings more content, despite having more responsibilities. Although teenagers obtain new experiences in their teenage years, I believe that adults can enjoy in the things they have accomplished.
On the one hand, experiences that adolescents gain before their reach adulthood make them happy. This is because many teenagers get more freedom to do the things that they like without being controlled by their parents. A sense of freedom gives them opportunity to socialise with their contemporaries and many of them fall in love for the first time. These are unprecedented experiences that makes them feel very happy. For example, many dwellers of Sarajevo have said that teenage years were the happiest years of their lives. However, I think that adolescents do not know what a real happiness is at such a young age.
On the other hand, adults can appreciate the things they have achieved. This is to say that many adults set goals when they were younger, such as having prosperous careers, because they knew achieving their goals would make them content. They worked hard to get closer to their goals, and when they finally achieved their targets, they felt contentment. For instance, many Bosnians dreamed about owning a property, and after purchasing housing they were ecstatic. Therefore, I believe that adults can value happiness at a greater level.
In conclusion, although pre-adulthood brings new experiences, I believe that adults enjoy the perks of their hard work.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrase Original: adolescent years Suggested revision: the teenage years Why it matters: “The teenage years” is the natural phrase for this period of life.
- 2. Use correct noun Original: brings more content Suggested revision: brings greater contentment Why it matters: “Content” does not mean the state of happiness intended here; the required noun is “contentment.”
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: obtain Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: People naturally “gain” rather than “obtain” experiences.
- 4. Remove wrong preposition Original: enjoy in the things Suggested revision: enjoy the things Why it matters: The transitive verb “enjoy” takes a direct object without “in.”
- 5. Correct subject pronoun Original: their Suggested revision: they Why it matters: The clause needs the subject pronoun “they,” not the possessive determiner “their.”
- 6. Use formal verb Original: get Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: “Gain” is a more precise formal collocation with “freedom.”
- 7. Add an article Original: gives them opportunity Suggested revision: gives them an opportunity Why it matters: The singular countable noun “opportunity” requires an article.
- 8. Use natural social term Original: contemporaries Suggested revision: peers Why it matters: “Peers” is the more natural word for people of the same age in this context.
- 9. Fix subject agreement Original: makes Suggested revision: make Why it matters: The plural subject “experiences” requires the plural verb “make.”
- 10. Add possessive determiner Original: that teenage years were Suggested revision: that their teenage years were Why it matters: The noun phrase needs “their” to identify whose teenage years are meant.
- 11. Remove wrong article Original: what a real happiness is Suggested revision: what real happiness is Why it matters: “Happiness” is uncountable in this general sense and does not take “a.”
- 12. Use standard transition Original: This is to say that Suggested revision: That is to say, Why it matters: The standard transition is “That is to say,” followed by a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- adolescent years the teenage years
- brings more content brings greater contentment
- obtain gain
- enjoy in the things enjoy the things
- their they
- get gain
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response discusses both perspectives in a clear structure and maintains an unambiguous preference for the happiness available in adulthood. Its supporting ideas are relevant but sometimes rely on broad assertions, and recurring collocation, article, and agreement errors reduce precision despite generally clear meaning. The priority is to develop the comparison more convincingly while correcting basic phrase patterns such as 'enjoy the things' and 'before they reach adulthood.'
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's opinion remains clear, although some support depends on broad or weakly justified claims.
Explain why achievement produces deeper happiness and replace general anecdotes with more convincing comparative reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear four-paragraph progression, and each main paragraph develops one side of the discussion.
Make progression less formulaic by using referencing and logical connections instead of relying heavily on stock signposts.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Correct phrases such as 'brings more content,' 'enjoy in,' and 'value happiness at a greater level.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring article, agreement, and clause-form errors remain noticeable.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement, articles, and clause forms in phrases such as 'before they reach' and 'experiences that make.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.