Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
These days, some people believe that teenagers should do unpaid work in their spare time for the benefit of society. I strongly believe that it is necessaryI strongly agree with this notion that it is necessary to engage them in voluntary work. This essay will discuss the main points with examples. To begin with, adolescents who take part in unpaid work would be more responsible toward their communityresponsible to the community. When they are involved with other residents, theyresidents then they come to realize the problems that people deal with everyday such as povertylike poverty, pollution and many other issuesand many more. Moreover, we have all been affectedwe all have been affected by the Covid-19 pandemicthe current Covid-19 pandemic and many people have suffered lossesa good many people suffer a loss. As revealed by “ The Voice of Vietnam- VOV”, a volunteer who is against the virus and empathize with mental pain that the patients are going through, he always delivers oxygen and food for people who need it the most. For that reason, volunteering makes students more responsible citizensthe most responsible citizens of the country. Furthermore, unpaid work can help teenagers widen their social circleschildren expand their social cycle and soft skills. Because when they participate in an unrewarded job, they will meet different types of people, as they learn from each other myriad skills such as leadership, teamwork, communication and handle difficult situations. For instance, a recent studysearch conducted in Japan has revealed that students who take parthad take part in voluntary work tend to be more sociablecan be more sociable, energetic andand also respectful ofto others. Compared with teenagers that do not do unpaid work, they will become more verted, idle and listless. On balance, I believe that youngsters should do unpaid work as community servicefor social work without payinstead of paying. This is because they are able to learn many crucial skills and are more responsible towardto society.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is a clear agreement with compulsory community work, supported by two relevant benefits for teenagers and society. Its main limitation is that examples and comparisons are sometimes unclear, while frequent grammatical and word-choice problems interrupt the flow. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the ideas into clear paragraphs and develop each benefit through precise cause-and-effect explanation rather than loosely connected or awkward examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and addresses benefits to both teenagers and society, though some support is vague or insufficiently connected.
Develop each benefit with a specific, credible example and explain directly how it supports compulsory unpaid community work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two main ideas follow a generally logical order, but the single paragraph, fragments, and awkward linking weaken cohesion.
Separate the introduction, two body ideas, and conclusion, and use complete cause-and-effect sentences within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but inaccurate choices and collocations frequently make expression unnatural or imprecise.
Replace unclear phrases such as social cycle, recent search, and more verted with accurate, familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, clauses, and sentence construction reduce control.
Focus on forming complete complex sentences and checking verb agreement and tense before adding further grammatical variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.