Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many young people work on a volunteer basis, and this can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work.
Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time. School is just as demanding as a full-time job, and teachers expect their students to do homework and exam revision on top of attending lessons every day. When young people do have some free time, we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing sports and other leisure activities. They have many years of work ahead of them when they finish their studies.
At the same time, I do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young people to do unpaid work. In fact, I would argue that it goes against the values of a free and fair society to force a group of people to do something against their will. Doing this can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used, and parents, who would not want to be told how to raise their children. Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and this is surely the best system.
In conclusion, teenagers may choose to work for free and help others, but in my opinion we should not make this compulsory.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise adverb Original: on a volunteer basis Suggested revision: voluntarily Why it matters: The adverb expresses the same idea more directly.
- 2. Avoid an absolute claim Original: can only be beneficial Suggested revision: can be beneficial Why it matters: Removing the absolute wording makes the opening claim more appropriately measured.
- 3. Use neutral wording Original: force Suggested revision: require Why it matters: Require is more precise and less emotive in describing a compulsory policy.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: under enough pressure with their studies Suggested revision: under enough academic pressure Why it matters: Academic pressure is a more natural and concise collocation here.
- 5. Strengthen parallel structure Original: do homework and exam revision Suggested revision: complete homework and revise for exams Why it matters: Using parallel verb phrases makes the two study obligations clearer.
- 6. Use the natural collocation Original: doing Suggested revision: playing Why it matters: Playing sports is the standard collocation for participating in sporting activities.
- 7. Clarify the logical link Original: At the same time Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: The paragraph adds a second reason rather than describing simultaneous events.
- 8. Make the claim concise Original: has anything to gain Suggested revision: would gain anything Why it matters: The revision states the hypothetical consequence more directly.
- 9. Use a precise verb Original: goes against the values Suggested revision: conflicts with the values Why it matters: Conflicts with is a more precise formal expression for incompatibility with social values.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Doing this can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used, and parents, who would not want to be told how to raise their children. Suggested revision: Doing this is likely to cause resentment among young people who feel exploited and among parents who object to being told how to raise their children. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the absolute claim and makes the two affected groups easier to distinguish.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and this is surely the best system. Suggested revision: Under the current system, volunteering remains a choice, and this is preferable. Why it matters: The rewrite avoids the contradictory phrasing of being forced to volunteer and the overgeneralising word nobody.
Suggested Rewrites
- on a volunteer basis voluntarily
- can only be beneficial can be beneficial
- force require
- under enough pressure with their studies under enough academic pressure
- do homework and exam revision complete homework and revise for exams
- doing playing
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, unwavering position, supported by two logically developed arguments about academic pressure and personal freedom. Its main limitation is that some claims, especially that society has nothing to gain, are stated rather absolutely and receive no concrete illustration. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and add a specific example showing why compulsory service could create resentment or undermine voluntary participation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear position and develops two relevant, persuasive reasons.
Support the argument with a specific real-world or hypothetical example and qualify the most absolute claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the transition between the personal and societal arguments by making their relationship more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately formal, with effective phrases such as academic pressure and against their will.
Refine broad expressions such as anything to gain so the argument conveys greater nuance and precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and sentences remain clear throughout.
Continue refining clause balance in the longest sentences to make already accurate writing even more concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.