Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of society?
Sample Response
Television always had a significant role in cultures of many societies and it still has a great influence. Whatever we see in societies these days is some way or other impacted or influenced by what we see on television. The influence of television can be both positive and negative. To look at the positive influence of television on society, it gives us knowledge about many things being its different culture, different regions of the world, their habitat and more other information. It gives us news about what happening worldwide and catches up on current affairs. It makes you aware of what is happening nearby you as well around the globe. As televisions and it network being readily available in even remote parts, it’s a great medium to create awareness about many social issues among people and asking them to perform their part to make a better society. But again we do see so much negative influence of television on people these days. Kids getting exposed to many things at very young age, people seeing crimes happening on television lead them to wrong doings. It’s very much known that we see many of the crimes happening these days are one or another way is influenced by what people see on TV. As it’s said, an excess of everything is bad. Similarly, in a controlled manner with a proper supervision and regulation on what people are exposed to on television will always do good to society. It will help gaining an enormous amount of good knowledge and will be helpful in one or another way. To aware people on many social issues, programmes via television will create a great impact and make the world a better place to live.
Television is one of the most widely used modern technologies in this time. Television is a great source of information and entertainment. There are many programs and lots of channels that people can view and choose from. Some of the programs that televisions provide have both good and bad impacts. To begin, television shows many film programs and also news that really are interesting to watch. It gives information which is mostly up to date, so we will know about the new information. With many learning programs, children can learn more about anything or probably know about another country although they have never gone there. In addition, the advertisement in television program can help some of the housewives to improve their knowledge about cooking, housekeeping, gardening, travel etc. Because of that for a housewife who loves cooking sometimes they can learn through watching television programmes. Furthermore, besides good information and other valuable information and entertainment that the television provides us, it could be a terrible problem to some people as well. For example, someone who really likes watching TV sometimes does not feel satisfied with their lives, because they want to be an actress or actor in TV, this condition shows that they are addicted to television. Also for children, they will have a low concentration with their subject in school. Many people get addicted watching TV and that is harmful to them. The news presented on a TV is not always fair and many of the biased news can cause great chaos among people. In conclusion, television is an important technology for every people today. Because it provides much information that really improves our knowledge. We can know anything about this world without even visiting there. But we must manage our time to watch TV and prudently schedule out the timing for TV. Parents must be cautious and take more control of their children’s TV schedule.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present perfect Original: Television always had Suggested revision: Television has always had Why it matters: The influence began in the past and continues now, so the present perfect is required.
- 2. Add the article Original: in cultures of many societies Suggested revision: in the cultures of many societies Why it matters: The specific cultures belonging to the societies require the definite article.
- 3. Fix the adverbial phrase Original: is some way or other impacted Suggested revision: is in some way affected Why it matters: The fixed phrase requires “in,” and one precise verb avoids redundancy.
- 4. Add the auxiliary Original: about what happening worldwide Suggested revision: about what is happening worldwide Why it matters: The present continuous clause requires the auxiliary verb “is.”
- 5. Correct the expression Original: catches up on current affairs Suggested revision: keeps us up to date with current affairs Why it matters: Television keeps viewers informed; it does not itself “catch up.”
- 6. Fix parallel linking Original: nearby you as well around Suggested revision: near you as well as around Why it matters: The correlative phrase is “as well as,” and “near you” is the natural location expression.
- 7. Fix noun and possessive Original: televisions and it network Suggested revision: television and its network Why it matters: “Television” is uncountable as a medium, and “its” is the required possessive form.
- 8. Correct adverb position Original: in even remote parts Suggested revision: even in remote areas Why it matters: “Even” should precede the prepositional phrase it emphasizes.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: asking them to perform their part Suggested revision: encouraging them to play their part Why it matters: The standard expression is “play their part,” and television encourages rather than asks directly.
- 10. Correct the expression Original: everything Suggested revision: anything Why it matters: The conventional saying uses “anything” to refer to any single thing taken to excess.
- 11. Remove the article Original: with a proper supervision Suggested revision: with proper supervision Why it matters: “Supervision” is uncountable and does not take “a.”
- 12. Fix the verb pattern Original: help gaining Suggested revision: help people gain Why it matters: “Help” takes an object and a bare infinitive in this construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- Television always had Television has always had
- in cultures of many societies in the cultures of many societies
- is some way or other impacted is in some way affected
- about what happening worldwide about what is happening worldwide
- catches up on current affairs keeps us up to date with current affairs
- nearby you as well around near you as well as around
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response’s strongest feature is its broad recognition that television can educate, raise awareness, entertain and also expose audiences to crime, addiction and bias. Its main limitation is that two overlapping discussions are effectively combined, causing extensive repetition, only two oversized paragraphs, and no clear judgment about whether cultural development has been more positive or negative. Prioritise selecting one coherent argument, stating the overall extent clearly, and developing culturally relevant effects in focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents relevant positive and negative effects, but many points concern general information or personal habits rather than cultural development, and the overall judgment remains unclear.
State whether television’s cultural influence is mainly positive, mainly negative, or balanced, then support that judgment with effects on shared values, behaviour, traditions, or identity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some local sequencing is apparent, but duplicated introductions, repeated ideas, two very long paragraphs, and a second conclusion disrupt overall progression.
Rebuild the response as one introduction, one paragraph for positive cultural effects, one for negative effects, and one decisive conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for basic discussion of media, information, education, and harm, but it is repetitive and frequently imprecise.
Use precise cultural vocabulary such as “social norms,” “cultural awareness,” “representation,” “media bias,” and “behavioural influence” instead of repeating “information” and “impact.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, sentence boundaries, and clause construction reduce control and sometimes strain readability.
Write shorter complete sentences with explicit subjects and verbs, correcting forms such as “what is happening,” “television and its network,” and “people become addicted to watching TV.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.