Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
Sample Response
In today's world, television is ever increasing. It is one of the most important things in human life. Almost everybody is using the benefits of television. Some people believe that television has demolished communication among friends and family. In my opinion, however, the opposite is true. Television can increase communication. We see news and other information on TV which gives us things to discuss with our friends and family. Moreover, it also helps us to understand each other.
Television programs give us things to think and talk about. These days it is possible to hear news every time we turn on the television. We hear about things happening all around the world. Everybody has opinions about these things and everybody wants to discuss their opinions with other people. So, TV news and information programs encourage us to discuss our ideas with our friends and family.
Now people in every part of the world have access to the same TV programs. When you go to a new city to work, study, or take a vacation, you will already have something in common with the people there. When you meet new people, you will be familiar with at least some of the same TV programs. This gives you something to talk about.
Most people use TV as a way of entertainment. People who play sports usually like to watch sports on TV. People who like to cook watch cooking shows. If your friends and family watch some of the same programs as you watch, they can learn more about things that interest you. This is a form of communication that helps people to create mutual understanding among them.
In conclusion, these types of communication technology have brought people from all over the world closer together.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name what is increasing Original: television is ever increasing Suggested revision: television use is continually increasing Why it matters: Television itself does not increase, whereas its use can increase.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: most important things in human life Suggested revision: most important parts of modern life Why it matters: Parts of modern life describes television’s role more naturally than things in human life.
- 3. Fix verb complementation Original: using the benefits of television Suggested revision: benefiting from television Why it matters: People benefit from television rather than use its benefits.
- 4. Use the correct collocation Original: demolished Suggested revision: destroyed Why it matters: Demolish normally refers to physical structures, while destroy can describe communication.
- 5. Use a natural verb Original: increase Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: Improve communication is the natural collocation for making interaction better.
- 6. Add the relative comma Original: TV which gives us Suggested revision: TV, which gives us Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause adds information about television and requires a comma.
- 7. Remove the redundant linker Original: Moreover, it also helps Suggested revision: Moreover, it helps Why it matters: Moreover and also duplicate the same additive relationship.
- 8. Use a precise noun Original: things Suggested revision: topics Why it matters: Topics identifies the subjects of thought and discussion more precisely.
- 9. Use natural time wording Original: hear news every time we turn on the television Suggested revision: hear the news whenever we turn on the television Why it matters: The news and whenever form the natural expression for this repeated situation.
- 10. Use concise academic wording Original: things happening all around the world Suggested revision: events occurring around the world Why it matters: Events occurring is more precise and concise than things happening.
- 11. Avoid immediate repetition Original: Everybody has opinions about these things and everybody wants Suggested revision: People have opinions about these issues and want Why it matters: The revision removes the repeated everybody while preserving the general claim.
- 12. Use the plural expression Original: people in every part of the world Suggested revision: people in all parts of the world Why it matters: All parts is the natural plural expression for worldwide coverage.
Suggested Rewrites
- television is ever increasing television use is continually increasing
- most important things in human life most important parts of modern life
- using the benefits of television benefiting from television
- demolished destroyed
- increase improve
- TV which gives us TV, which gives us
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear opposing position and gives several relevant ways television can create shared topics and mutual understanding. Its main limitation is that the ideas become repetitive, one paragraph shifts toward meeting strangers rather than communication among friends and family, and the conclusion broadens to global connection without synthesising the stated claim. The priority is to engage directly with the strongest counterargument that television can replace conversation and show why the benefits prevail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers the claim with a consistent position and several relevant explanations, but some support is repetitive or only indirectly connected to communication within families and friendships.
Address how passive or excessive viewing might reduce direct interaction, then explain under what conditions shared television viewing instead strengthens communication.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through news, shared programmes, and common interests, with clear paragraphing, though the third paragraph drifts from the central relationship focus and the conclusion is overly broad.
Keep every body paragraph tied to friends and family, and make the conclusion summarise those specific mechanisms rather than communication technology worldwide.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and generally clear for the topic, but frequent repetition of television, people, programmes, and communication and a few awkward combinations limit flexibility.
Use precise alternatives such as "shared viewing," "discussion topics," and "interpersonal connection," while replacing unnatural phrases such as "using the benefits of television."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with generally good accuracy, though some pronoun references and comparative or relative structures are awkward.
Refine clause relationships and references, for example by ensuring that "which" clearly refers to information and avoiding vague uses of "these types" in the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.