Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
Sample Response
The invention of television is undoubtedly one of the humankind's greatest inventions. It is a way of communication among people of one country and different countries and nations. People watch TV to find out about the latest news, weather, sports, etc. It is a great way to learn new and extend one's range of interests. Scientists say that children spend the same amount of hours in front of TV as they do in school. I think that this can be said about many grown people too. Also, television is a great means of eliminating stress and tension. One can relax and leave one's troubles behind lying on one's favourite sofa and watching a comedy. However, some people believe that
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: the humankind's Suggested revision: humankind's Why it matters: Humankind is used without the definite article in this possessive phrase.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: way Suggested revision: means Why it matters: Means of communication is the natural expression for a communication medium.
- 3. Remove repetition Original: of one country and different countries and nations Suggested revision: within and across countries Why it matters: The revision expresses domestic and international communication without repeating countries and nations.
- 4. Make the list precise Original: news, weather, sports, etc. Suggested revision: news, weather forecasts and sports Why it matters: Naming the final category avoids the vague abbreviation and improves list precision.
- 5. Complete the phrase Original: learn new Suggested revision: learn new things Why it matters: Learn new requires a noun to complete its meaning in this sentence.
- 6. Use number with hours Original: amount Suggested revision: number Why it matters: Number is used with the countable noun hours.
- 7. Add the article Original: in front of TV Suggested revision: in front of the television Why it matters: The definite article is natural when referring to television as the device being watched.
- 8. Use the standard noun Original: many grown people Suggested revision: many adults Why it matters: Adults is the standard concise term for grown people.
- 9. Avoid an absolute claim Original: means of eliminating Suggested revision: way to reduce Why it matters: Reduce expresses the likely effect on stress more accurately than eliminating.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: One can relax and leave one's troubles behind lying on one's favourite sofa and watching a comedy. Suggested revision: One can relax on a favourite sofa, watch a comedy and temporarily leave one's troubles behind. Why it matters: The rewrite places the modifying activities clearly and removes the awkward implication that the troubles are lying on the sofa.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: However, some people believe that Suggested revision: However, some people hold an opposing view. Why it matters: The original final clause is incomplete because that introduces content which never follows.
- 12. Organise existing ideas Suggested revision: Group the existing points about information, learning and relaxation into separate logical units, then place the opposing view after them as a clear transition. Why it matters: The single unfinished block moves through several benefits without a visible paragraph progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- the humankind's humankind's
- way means
- of one country and different countries and nations within and across countries
- news, weather, sports, etc. news, weather forecasts and sports
- learn new learn new things
- amount number
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response offers several clear observations about television’s informational and recreational benefits, and most individual sentences remain understandable. Its decisive limitation is incompleteness: at 119 words it ends mid-sentence before addressing whether television has destroyed communication among friends and family, so no developed position or relevant discussion emerges. Prioritise completing a clear stance and building two focused paragraphs that directly analyse television’s effects on interpersonal communication.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay supplies background benefits of television but does not answer the central claim, present a position, or develop relevant communication effects.
State clearly whether the claim is accepted and support that position with developed examples about interaction among relatives and friends.
Coherence and Cohesion
The benefits are listed in a broadly understandable order, but the response lacks paragraph development and stops at an unfinished transition.
Use an introduction with a position, one paragraph per main communication effect, and a completed conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary for television and leisure, though the short response contains several awkward or incomplete expressions.
Use precise phrases such as "humanity’s greatest inventions", "learn new things", and "adults", while developing communication-specific vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Several simple and complex sentences are accurate, but article, noun-form, and clause-completion errors remain, including the unfinished final sentence.
Complete every clause and proofread structures such as "one of humanity’s greatest inventions" and "lying on a sofa while watching".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.