Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
These days, many of us believe that tourism can be regarded as one of the greatest contributorsmost contributive aspects to the country's economic growthfor economic growth of the country. However, some of us still find some drawbacks of tourism because it can dilute our indigenous traditions and make people stop caringmake people do not care about their environment. I agree with the notion that tourism can harm the local culture and its environment. In this essay, I will support my opinion with some reasons.
To begin with, we should open our eyes to the fact that tourism has ledlead to the great transformation of economic growth in our country. Many people around the world try to visit our country in order to learn about our cultureknow our cultures and enjoy the beautiful sceneryviews of our country. This fact brings several benefits to our economyshows a number of advantages to our economic growth such as the growth of tourism-related industriesgrowth of industrial aspects. However, this development can harm our indigenous cultures and environment. Nowadays, the growth of tourism transformed our way of lifetransformed our life to the different style of life. Compared with the pastCompare to the past time, these days, the majority of peoplea majority of the people have been influenced by Western culturethe western culture. In the past time, young and elderly peoplethe youth and elderly respected each other and still preserved the values of culture and moralitythe value of culture, and morality. Today, westernisation of culture happened and tried to interfere our lifestyle. The high values of culture and morality were almost erasedalmost erased from the social fabricdictionary of society. People tend to forget their indigenous cultures and traditions, moreover, their offspring following the same. They no longer care about the upkeep of their culturalcultures inheritance and become trapped inand trapped in the western cultures which they associate withwhich identical with the nightclub, drinks, and party. Take Bangladesh as an example, in the past time, Bangladesh was very well-known with its traditional cultures. Presently, this country is changing and no longer known for their cultures. To sum up, I think that although tourism can drive to a better economic growth but still, we should not lose our sight that tourism also can harm our local cultures and environment.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers a sustained explanation of how tourism may weaken local culture, supported by a relevant national example. Its main limitation is that environmental damage, an explicit part of the question, is asserted without explanation, while frequent language errors weaken precision. The highest priority is to develop a separate, specific argument about environmental harm and support it with a clear causal example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and cultural harm is developed, but environmental harm receives virtually no explanation.
Add a fully developed environmental argument showing how tourism causes a specific form of damage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable introduction, body, and conclusion, but the single long body paragraph is repetitive and only loosely organized.
Separate the cultural and environmental arguments into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses some relevant topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize natural collocations such as economic growth, cultural heritage, and environmental protection, and check word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and clause construction sometimes strain readability.
Edit each sentence for complete clause structure and accurate verb forms before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.