Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, passion for a journey from one place to another has been growinghas been increasing among people. This essay will first discuss that the increasing availability of tour packages isan increasing number of tour packages is a major reason for thisthe prominent reason behind this, and it will then explain that cultural awareness and improved well-beingbeing healthy are the two main benefits of travellingprime advantages of this. Many tour companies around the world are enticing people to travel more than ever before. That is to say, people are being offered appealing and discounted tour packages, especially during the holiday season, to explore other places. Whereas in the past travelling was very expensive and people could not afford it; however, these companies have made it possible to visit one place to another by spending a small chunk of money. For example, Travel Magazine estimated that more than 40% of AustraliansAustralian people travelled within Australia and abroad in 2019nationally and internationally, in the year 2019, because of cheap tour deals they obtainedgrabbed from Flight Centrethe Flight centre. The first major benefit of travelling is that it allows travellers to learn aboutallows a traveller to know about different cultures. By visiting other parts of the world, people get an opportunity to experience various culturesthe various culture, cuisines and languages. The other significant advantage is stress reliefrelaxation through holidays. This is especially true for a significant number of people who are working long hours each weekworking many hours a week to earn a livingearn their livings. During holidays, they choose to travel to different destinations around the world, and this greatly helps them to relieve their stress and maintain good healthkeep their health in a sound condition. For example, a recent study by the Indian Medical Institute concluded that frequent travellers are happier and more satisfied with their liveslife than those who do not. In conclusion, people travel more often than in the past because of the tour deals they are being offered, and travelling does not only provide a traveller with knowledge about a different culture, but it also helps them to take a break from hectic schedulesstay away from a hectic schedule
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers both parts clearly and develops the cultural and wellbeing benefits with relevant explanation, while its strongest feature is a consistent, easy-to-follow line of argument. Its main limitation is the frequent use of awkward or imprecise language, compounded by presenting the whole essay as one paragraph. Prioritise natural collocations and clear paragraph breaks so that the well-chosen ideas read more fluently and professionally.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear central reason and two relevant, adequately developed benefits.
Deepen the explanation of why discounted travel has become more available instead of relying mainly on a reported statistic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the cause and benefits, but the response is presented as one continuous paragraph.
Separate the introduction, cause, benefits, and conclusion into clear paragraphs with controlled linking between them.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, although several collocations sound unnatural or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as stress relaxation and passion for a journey with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, but article, agreement, and clause-control errors recur.
Review sentence boundaries and dependent-clause structures, especially constructions beginning with whereas and paired correlatives.