Tobacco should be treated as illegal like other drugs. Smoking has not a single positive issue but lots of negative effects and therefore, it should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Sample Response
Most of the drugs are banned in all nations as they are root causesthe root cause of many incurable diseases, mental instability and social problems. Tobacco is considered similar to these drugs, as it engenders a myriad of negative impacts on human beingson the human beings. I totally agree that tobacco must be banned as it can engender diseases and can cause addictionas well as can cause addictions. Firstly, it is apparent that smoking can lead to seriousvulnerable diseases like cancer, as tobacco contains a harmful substance called nicotinea harmful ingredient called Nicotine. Moreover, smoking not only creates a physical imbalance in smokersamong the smokers but also causes disease in passive smokersattracts diseases among passive smokers due to the air pollution created by it. Research conducted in August 2014A research done, in August 2014 by a group of scientists based in California, showsillustrates that seventy percent of the people affected by smoking are non-smokers. Therefore, it is crystal clear that tobaccoNicotine must be prohibited. Secondly, almost all smokers are addicted to smokingaddicted to the smoking habit, becausedue to the reason that nicotine causes this dependenceNicotine attracts this peculiar characteristic. Furthermore, if a smoker suddenlyforcefully tries to put an end to the smoking habit, it is predicted that he or she will experience mental instabilitycome under mental imbalance. For instance, if a patient asks some remedies with a physician to give up smoking, definitely the doctor would recommend decreasing the habit on a daily basis, instead of stopping suddenly. It might take a few years to get rid of this habit. Thus, it is obvious that tobacco has a huge negative impact. Smoking does not have a single positive side and that’s why it should be immediately banned. It costs a large amount of money, it puts our mental and physical health in danger and creates many others diseases to people. In conclusion, by analysing how tobacco can destroy the health of people as well as cause addiction, it is obvious that tobaccoTobacco products must be banned. It is suggested that governments give advance notice of a bangive banning notice well in advance so that smokersso that the smokers can quit the habit slowly.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains an unequivocal position and supports it with two relevant lines of argument about disease and addiction. Its main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, compounded by repeated or unnatural vocabulary and some weakly substantiated claims. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and express each supporting point in more precise, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a consistent position and relevant reasons, although some evidence is asserted rather than convincingly developed.
Explain how each health or addiction point specifically justifies a legal ban and use credible support instead of broad unsupported statistics.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear sequence and uses signposting, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph obscures the essay's logical stages.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear internal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of less common vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and repetition make several claims sound unnatural or imprecise.
Use accurate health-related collocations and avoid repeatedly relying on words such as engender, imbalance, and attract in unsuitable contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures and meaning remains clear, despite recurring errors with articles, verb patterns, plurals, and punctuation.
Edit complex sentences for correct article use, parallel verb forms, and clause boundaries before adding further grammatical variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Tobacco should be treated as illegal like other drugs. Smoking has not a single positive issue but lots of negative effects and therefore, it should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.