Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extant do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many city and town planners believe that trees, instead of residential buildings, are crucial for the development of the modern city. In my agreement, I agree with this contention despite the legitimate benefits to increased housing in cities.
Those who would rather build more residential buildings argue that both town and city populations are surging. Population figures globally are on the rise and it is logical to provide quality housing for all citizens. This is particularly true in rapidly growing nations such as China and India. The migration of individuals from the countryside to cities and outlying towns means that higher residential numbers have led to deteriorating sanitary conditions and increased pressure on the services that sustain cities such as public transportation. More housing would at least partly alleviate the issues that urban planners face and allow for more cogent plans for densely populated environments.
Nonetheless, the importance of trees transcends the purely practical. For the average city and town resident, trees have aesthetic value. Take for example some of the best known cities in the world including Paris and New York City. The parks and gardens stand out and mitigate living apart from the natural world. Moreover, the more underprivileged segments of society are unlikely to be able to afford trips outside their immediate living vicinity. There is therefore a good chance that many younger children, particularly those in inner cities, will rarely experience nature and their lives will be limited to the dreary confines of the city. Over time, this can have a demoralising effect that is evidenced in the defeatist attitude common among less affluent children.
In conclusion, the importance of housing to meeting rising population demands does not overshadow the importance of trees. Towns and cities must naturally balance these concerns to foster better living environments for residents.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural stance phrase Original: agreement Suggested revision: view Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic way to introduce a personal position.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun benefit takes of when identifying the source of the benefit here.
- 3. Clarify population phrase Original: both town and city populations are surging Suggested revision: the populations of both towns and cities are surging Why it matters: The revision makes the coordination and reference to two types of population clearer.
- 4. Use natural word order Original: Population figures globally Suggested revision: Global population figures Why it matters: The adjective global modifies population figures more naturally in this position.
- 5. Name people precisely Original: higher residential numbers Suggested revision: larger urban populations Why it matters: Residential numbers is an unnatural expression for the number of people living in cities.
- 6. Set off the example Original: services that sustain cities such as public transportation Suggested revision: services that sustain cities, such as public transportation Why it matters: A comma clearly marks public transportation as an example of urban services.
- 7. Improve collocation Original: cogent plans for densely populated environments Suggested revision: coherent plans for densely populated areas Why it matters: Coherent plans and populated areas form more natural collocations in this context.
- 8. Punctuate inserted phrase Original: Take for example Suggested revision: Take, for example, Why it matters: For example is an interrupting phrase and should be enclosed by commas here.
- 9. Clarify the meaning Original: mitigate living apart from the natural world Suggested revision: reduce the sense of separation from the natural world Why it matters: Mitigate cannot naturally take living apart as its object in this meaning.
- 10. Remove redundant wording Original: immediate living vicinity Suggested revision: immediate vicinity Why it matters: Vicinity already means the surrounding area, so living is unnecessary and unnatural.
- 11. Correct evidence construction Original: that is evidenced in the defeatist attitude common among less affluent children Suggested revision: evidenced by the defeatist attitudes common among less affluent children Why it matters: Evidenced by is the correct construction for identifying the sign of an effect.
- 12. Correct preposition form Original: to Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In meeting correctly expresses the role housing plays in satisfying demand.
Suggested Rewrites
- agreement view
- to of
- both town and city populations are surging the populations of both towns and cities are surging
- Population figures globally Global population figures
- higher residential numbers larger urban populations
- services that sustain cities such as public transportation services that sustain cities, such as public transportation
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its mature discussion of both urban pressures and the social value of green space, supported by relevant examples and a clear overall preference. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in the position and reasoning, especially when the conclusion shifts toward balancing the options and some causal claims remain broad. State the comparative judgement more decisively throughout and sharpen the link between each example and why trees should take priority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question fully, maintains a discernible preference for trees, and develops both sides with relevant support.
Make the degree of agreement unmistakable in the conclusion and explain more directly why the benefits of trees outweigh the housing need.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without becoming intrusive.
Strengthen the logical bridge between each example and the paragraph's central comparison so the argument feels even tighter.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, though several collocations and formulations are slightly unnatural or imprecise.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'In my agreement' and 'mitigate living apart' with natural, exact academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used with strong control, and the few lapses do not impede communication.
Refine article, preposition, and clause choices in the occasional awkward sentence while preserving the effective structural variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extant do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.