Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
At recent years, there is an ongoing debate whether by completing further study in university or by joining the workload directly will lead someone to be employed in a good job. I personally believe that continuing higher study in a course at a university will alleviate the opportunity to get involved in the labour market.
The light competitiveness in work field, in some ways, increases the need for qualified workers. Moved by this trigger, universities develop the quality of the students by improving the specialisations and by extending the variety of courses. Taken as an example, business courses have been expanding the field of study in a wide range of majors such as public health business which provides the participants to focus on hospital management, pharmacy business, etc. or social based entrepreneur which develops the candidates to build their social-based businesses by a small amount of money.
On the other hand, undeniably, students in university seem to be the lack of practical experiences in working environment. Being an employee means more of responsibilities, job deadlines, etc. and there are several consequences if they show bad performances. To solve this case, internship programmes and core soft skill training can be effective ways out. University faces challenges to keep improving the curricula in order to prepare the students with work experiences by entering the utmost graduate students with 3 months working programmes in thrived companies as well as with several working skills training such as leadership training.
To sum up, in spite of the growth of demand for universities' graduates in good offer jobs, it is inevitable that they have more positive sides to fit them in such enormous opportunities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural study phrase Original: continuing higher study Suggested revision: continuing one's higher education Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for pursuing further university study.
- 2. Wrong verb choice Original: alleviate Suggested revision: increase Why it matters: 'Alleviate' reduces a problem and cannot mean creating a greater opportunity.
- 3. Natural competition phrase Original: light competitiveness Suggested revision: intense competition Why it matters: 'Intense competition' expresses a highly competitive employment context naturally.
- 4. Missing article Original: in work field Suggested revision: in the field of work Why it matters: The countable expression needs an article and an 'of' phrase.
- 5. Clarify connection Original: Moved by this trigger Suggested revision: In response to this pressure Why it matters: This transition clearly links university changes to workplace competition.
- 6. Improve word combination Original: develop the quality of the students Suggested revision: improve students' qualifications Why it matters: The revised collocation clearly expresses how universities prepare qualified workers.
- 7. Natural programme phrase Original: improving the specialisations Suggested revision: developing specialist programmes Why it matters: Universities develop programmes rather than improve abstract specialisations in this context.
- 8. Use expand variety Original: extending Suggested revision: expanding Why it matters: 'Expand the variety' is the natural collocation for increasing a range of courses.
- 9. Use noun modifier Original: students in university Suggested revision: university students Why it matters: The noun modifier gives the standard expression for students attending university.
- 10. Correct verb structure Original: seem to be the lack of Suggested revision: seem to lack Why it matters: 'Seem to lack' is the required verb construction.
- 11. Uncountable experience Original: experiences Suggested revision: experience Why it matters: 'Experience' is uncountable when it means accumulated workplace practice.
- 12. Use workplace phrase Original: in working environment Suggested revision: in the workplace Why it matters: The original singular count noun lacks a determiner, while 'the workplace' is natural here.
Suggested Rewrites
- continuing higher study continuing one's higher education
- alleviate increase
- light competitiveness intense competition
- in work field in the field of work
- Moved by this trigger In response to this pressure
- develop the quality of the students improve students' qualifications
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure and attempts to support university education through course development, internships, and skills training. However, its position is imprecisely expressed, the alternative of entering work after school is not directly evaluated, and frequent unnatural word choices obscure several ideas. Clarify the exact stance first, then compare the two routes directly using accurately expressed reasons and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response favours university education and offers some supporting ideas, but the stance is unclear in places and the work-first alternative receives little direct evaluation.
State an unambiguous degree of agreement and compare university study with immediate employment through fully developed reasons and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable introduction-body-conclusion structure, although progression within the body is sometimes weakened by unclear links between ideas.
Give each body paragraph one explicit comparative purpose and connect every supporting detail clearly to that purpose.
Lexical Resource
Relevant educational and employment vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Use simpler, established combinations for employment, opportunity, experience, and university programmes, checking each phrase for natural usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and plurals reduce clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then combine them only when the grammatical relationship between clauses is secure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.