Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
Nowadays, many people believe that education in university level is the only way to get a good job. In contrast, some people think that working after high school is better since they can obtain experience in work environment. I will outline both issues with reasons and examples.
Talking about a good job, it is not easy to achieve. We have to prepare ourselves both in terms of education and skill because they need to cooperate to make a good capability in ourselves, which we know as a prior thing that employers seek in the employees. For example, in the case of a job interview, employer commonly ask about our last education whether it is appropriate for the job position or not. They believe that higher education provides people not only in knowledge term but also their maturity. Furthermore, through university education, we are not only given subsequences of theories but also practices. So, before we go to the work field, we already know how to adapt to our expected job based on our background education.
It is true that we need experiences to do better in our job, but it cannot be denied that education is more important than it. Take a teacher’s career as an example. By teaching earlier, you may have more experience than the new one who just graduated from university. But graduated university students can teach their students with better theories or concept from each material with good methods.
To sum up, I must say that we need higher education to gain more information from the experts about our special field, therefore we can do our best to show our capability in front of employers to emphasise them that we deserve that job. So, I tend to disagree that work after school is better than to continue our study at university.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct level preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use “at” when referring to a level of education.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: obtain experience in work environment Suggested revision: gain experience in a work environment Why it matters: “Gain experience” is the natural collocation, and the singular countable noun needs an article.
- 3. Name views accurately Original: outline both issues Suggested revision: discuss both views Why it matters: The prompt presents two views rather than two problems or issues.
- 4. Improve topic transition Original: Talking about a good job Suggested revision: When it comes to securing a good job Why it matters: This phrase introduces the paragraph's topic more naturally and precisely.
- 5. Replace unclear phrase Original: a prior thing Suggested revision: a key quality Why it matters: “A prior thing” does not clearly express an important attribute sought by employers.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: in the employees Suggested revision: in employees Why it matters: The plural noun refers to employees generally, so it should not take “the”.
- 7. Fix subject agreement Original: employer Suggested revision: employers Why it matters: The general statement needs a plural subject to agree with “ask”.
- 8. Use precise term Original: our last education Suggested revision: our highest level of education Why it matters: “Last education” is not the standard expression for a candidate's educational attainment.
- 9. Make relevance concise Original: whether it is appropriate for the job position or not Suggested revision: whether it is relevant to the position Why it matters: This revision expresses the intended relevance more naturally and concisely.
- 10. Replace incorrect wording Original: subsequences of theories Suggested revision: theoretical knowledge Why it matters: “Subsequences of theories” does not convey the intended idea of academic instruction.
- 11. Use correct noun phrase Original: but also practices Suggested revision: but also practical training Why it matters: “Practical training” is the natural term for applied preparation provided by a university.
- 12. Use natural workplace term Original: work field Suggested revision: workplace Why it matters: “Workplace” is the standard term for the professional environment.
Suggested Rewrites
- in at
- obtain experience in work environment gain experience in a work environment
- outline both issues discuss both views
- Talking about a good job When it comes to securing a good job
- a prior thing a key quality
- in the employees in employees
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear preference for university education and supports it with relevant ideas about employer expectations and professional preparation. However, development is uneven: discussion of work experience is brief and comparisons are sometimes asserted rather than fully explained, while frequent collocational and grammatical problems make several sentences awkward. The priority is to develop both alternatives more precisely and express the comparison through simpler, reliably controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views and states a clear position, but support for the value of work experience is limited and some claims remain insufficiently explained.
Develop the work-experience view fairly, then compare it directly with university education using a fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although some long sentences contain loosely connected ideas and linking is occasionally mechanical.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and use clearer internal sequencing from claim to explanation and example.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and attempts some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases such as "make a good capability" and "subsequences of theories" with natural, context-appropriate combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and clause construction frequently weaken control.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement, articles, and noun forms in shorter sentences before attempting longer multi-clause structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.