While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is true that we live in a society that places great emphasisplaces a high emphasis on white-collar jobs, which leads to a shortage of competent blue-collar workers. Therefore, I fullytotally agree with the idea that more teenagers need to be urged to take vocational coursestake a course in vocational schools.
At the national levelOn the macro level, this policy could create athe balance between the two types of workers. Obviously, manual workers contribute to the growth of the economy as much as office workersthose working in the office do. As a result, if a country lacksfails to have a sufficient number of manual workers, the growth of the economy might be negatively affected. For example, when a country does not have enough electricians, the whole electricity grid of that country might be at risk of malfunctionat the risk of malfunction. The obvious consequence of this situation is that the power supply to factories and businesses would be unstable and interrupted, which hinders the proper operation of its economy.
At the individual levelOn the micro level, as there is a lack of skilled workersworker, those who possess a trade will findseek employment more easily. Recent graduates from universities are unable to findhave a job due to the intense competition and oversupply in the labor market. By contrast, vocational schools oftenmost vocational schools often offer programs in fields where workers are in high demand or short supplyprograms that are in high demand or shortage. This means that after finishing these courses, students are guaranteed a job in local factories. Consequently, many people with a bachelor'sbachelor degree in business administration or finance are still jobless whereas those with a trade of plumbing or nursing have secure employmenthave a good job and, therefore, ensure a successful future.
In conclusion, society has a severe shortage ofthe society is in a severe shortage of skilled workers; hence, encouraging more youngsters to attend trade schools is actually necessary to maintain the economy in good shape.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear position and develops it through a useful macro-level and individual-level structure, with relevant explanations of economic and employment effects. Its main limitation is that several claims are overstated, particularly the suggestion that vocational graduates are guaranteed work, and some collocations and article choices sound unnatural. Qualifying the examples and improving noun phrases would make the argument more credible and polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is sustained and supported by developed arguments about national infrastructure and individual employment prospects.
Qualify absolute claims about guaranteed jobs and strengthen examples with more realistic, carefully limited consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The macro-to-micro organisation creates a clear progression, and paragraphing and linking are consistently effective.
Use less formulaic signposting and make the transition from labour shortages to specific training choices more organic.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, though several noun phrases and collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Improve combinations such as create a balance, at risk of malfunction, and qualifications in plumbing or nursing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is used with good control, although article, agreement, and singular-plural errors recur.
Check noun phrases systematically for determiners and number, especially a lack of skilled workers and a bachelor's degree.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.