Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
High school graduatesGraduates of high school often face a dilemma of whether to seek a job or to enrol in universities or colleges to pursue higher education. This essay will analyse both views and will provide an opinion at the end of the essay.
The option to start work right after high school is appealing for several reasons. Many young people want to become independent and prefer their own incometheir own source of income rather than rely on parents or guardiansrather than relying on parents or guardian to meet their living expenses. They believe that learning skills while at work is far better than studying at collegeattending a college. For instance, The Memon community in Karachi encourages its childrenMemon Community in Karachi prefers their children to help them expandhelp them in expanding their family business after school; seeking higher education for them is a waste of money and time. Young people from middle-class families oftenOften youth of middle-class families opt for jobs straight after school to help cover family expensesshare the burden of family expenses due to rising inflationever-growing inflation.
On the other hand, many teenagers prefer to seek admission toin higher education institutionshigher academic institutes like engineering, medical and business schools. They believe that a bachelor's degree or diplomaThey believe that bachelor's degree or diploma will help them obtainhelp then attain a suitableperfect job leading to a promising career. They argue that due to rising competition in the job market, seeking higher education is mandatory. Universities help them in enlightening their vision, expand their domain, polish their skills and prepare them to face real world challenges. For instance, The financial industry in Pakistan favoursFinancial Industry in Pakistan favour commerce graduates over high school graduates because of their knowledge and skills which they have acquiredwhich they acquired by studying at business schools and colleges. Moreover, a degree makes you more competitive and helps you earn a higher salaryearn at a better rate.
To conclude, the above provides solid evidence on both views. However, in my opinion, every teenager should opt for higher education rather than work after school right away. Skills and knowledge which students acquire at the university are unmatchedunmatched and unparalleled.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly presents both routes and maintains a definite preference for higher education, with relevant examples drawn from family finances and employment. Its main limitation is that several arguments remain generalised and the introduction delays the position, while recurring language errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to state the opinion in the introduction and develop each view with a more specific explanation of how it leads to career success.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly discussed and supported with relevant reasons and examples, while the writer's preference for higher education is clear in the conclusion.
State the opinion in the introduction and explain more precisely how each route can produce long-term career success.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear four-paragraph structure, and cohesive devices guide the contrast between the two views effectively.
Make the introduction more purposeful and avoid mechanical references such as 'the above' in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows a sufficient range for education, employment, and family finance, but several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural expressions such as 'gain admission to', 'broaden their outlook', and 'earn a higher salary'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is attempted successfully, although errors in articles, agreement, pronouns, and parallel structures occur repeatedly.
Check agreement and parallel verb forms, especially in lists such as 'broaden their outlook, expand their knowledge, and polish their skills'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.