Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Sample Response
Graduates of high school often face a dilemma overof whether to seek a job or to enrol at a university or collegeenrol in universities or colleges to pursue higher education. This essay will analyse both views and will provide an opinion at the end of the essay.
The option to start work right after high school is appealing for several reasons. Many young people want to become independent and prefer to have their own source of incomeprefer their own source of income rather than relying on parents or guardiansguardian to meet their living expenses. They believe that learning skills while at work is far better than attending collegeattending a college. For instance, Memon Community in Karachi prefers their children to help them in expanding their family business after school; seeking higher education for them is a waste of money and time. Young people from middle-class families oftenOften youth of middle-class families opt for jobs straight after school to help cover their families' expensesshare the burden of family expenses due to rising living costsever-growing inflation.
On the other hand, many teenagers prefer to seek admission toin higher education institutionshigher academic institutes like engineering, medical and business schools. They believe that a bachelor's degree or diplomathat bachelor's degree or diploma will help themthen secure a good jobattain a perfect job leading to a promising career. They argue that due to rising competition in the job market, seeking higher education is mandatory. Universities help them in enlightening their vision, expand their domain, polish their skills and prepare them to face real world challenges. For instance, the financial industry in Pakistan favoursFinancial Industry in Pakistan favour commerce graduates over high school graduates because of their knowledge and skills that they acquirewhich they acquired by studying at business schools and colleges. Moreover, a degree makes you more competitive and helps you earn a higher salaryearn at a better rate.
To conclude, the preceding discussion presents arguments for both viewsthe above provides solid evidence on both views. However, in my opinion, every teenager should opt for higher education rather than start work immediately after schoolwork after school right away. Skills and knowledge which students acquire at the university are invaluableunmatched and unparalleled.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both career routes clearly, supports each with relevant reasons and examples, and ends with an unambiguous preference for higher education. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several article, agreement, pronoun, and parallel-structure errors combine with awkward collocations, although meaning remains clear. The highest priority is to proofread sentence structures and replace imprecise phrases with natural, accurately formed academic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant reasons and examples, and the conclusion states a clear opinion.
State the preference in the introduction and develop the comparison between the two routes more critically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and clear sequencing produce logical progression throughout the response.
Use a slightly wider range of internal linking and avoid formulaic signposting such as announcing that an opinion will appear later.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad academic vocabulary, but several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as attaining a perfect job and earning at a better rate with more natural, precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, despite recurring errors in articles, agreement, pronouns, and parallelism.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb forms within coordinated lists.