Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Graduates of high school often face a dilemma of whether to seek a job or to enrol in universities or colleges to pursue higher education. This essay will analyse both views and will provide an opinion at the end of the essay.
The option to start work right after high school is appealing for several reasons. Many young people want to become independent and prefer their own source of income rather than relying on parents or guardian to meet their living expenses. They believe that learning skills while at work is far better than attending a college. For instance, Memon Community in Karachi prefers their children to help them in expanding their family business after school; seeking higher education for them is a waste of money and time. Often youth of middle-class families opt for jobs straight after school to share the burden of family expenses due to ever-growing inflation.
On the other hand, many teenagers prefer to seek admission in higher academic institutes like engineering, medical and business schools. They believe that bachelor's degree or diploma will help then attain a perfect job leading to a promising career. They argue that due to rising competition in the job market, seeking higher education is mandatory. Universities help them in enlightening their vision, expand their domain, polish their skills and prepare them to face real world challenges. For instance, Financial Industry in Pakistan favour commerce graduates over high school graduates because of their knowledge and skills which they acquired by studying at business schools and colleges. Moreover, a degree makes you more competitive and helps you earn at a better rate.
To conclude, the above provides solid evidence on both views. However, in my opinion, every teenager should opt for higher education rather than work after school right away. Skills and knowledge which students acquire at the university are unmatched and unparalleled.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural preposition Original: of Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Use 'dilemma over whether' for a more natural collocation.
- 2. Correct enrolment phrase Original: enrol in universities or colleges Suggested revision: enrol at a university or college Why it matters: Use 'at' with the institution and singular forms for this general choice.
- 3. Complete verb pattern Original: prefer their own source of income Suggested revision: prefer to have their own source of income Why it matters: 'Prefer' needs an infinitive here to express the desired action clearly.
- 4. Match plural nouns Original: guardian Suggested revision: guardians Why it matters: The coordinated alternatives should both use plural forms in this general statement.
- 5. Natural institution phrase Original: attending a college Suggested revision: attending college Why it matters: The article is normally omitted when referring generally to college education.
- 6. Natural noun phrase Original: Often youth of middle-class families Suggested revision: Young people from middle-class families often Why it matters: This order and preposition form a grammatical, natural subject phrase.
- 7. Use precise collocation Original: share the burden of family expenses Suggested revision: help cover their families' expenses Why it matters: This wording expresses the financial contribution more directly and naturally.
- 8. Clarify economic pressure Original: ever-growing inflation Suggested revision: rising living costs Why it matters: Living costs rise, whereas inflation is a rate rather than an expense that families directly share.
- 9. Correct admission preposition Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: 'Admission' takes the preposition 'to' when followed by an institution.
- 10. Use standard term Original: higher academic institutes Suggested revision: higher education institutions Why it matters: This is the conventional term for universities and comparable colleges.
- 11. Add missing article Original: that bachelor's degree or diploma Suggested revision: that a bachelor's degree or diploma Why it matters: A singular countable qualification needs the article 'a'.
- 12. Correct pronoun typo Original: then Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The object pronoun 'them' is required after 'help'.
Suggested Rewrites
- of over
- enrol in universities or colleges enrol at a university or college
- prefer their own source of income prefer to have their own source of income
- guardian guardians
- attending a college attending college
- Often youth of middle-class families Young people from middle-class families often
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both career routes clearly, supports each with relevant reasons and examples, and ends with an unambiguous preference for higher education. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several article, agreement, pronoun, and parallel-structure errors combine with awkward collocations, although meaning remains clear. The highest priority is to proofread sentence structures and replace imprecise phrases with natural, accurately formed academic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant reasons and examples, and the conclusion states a clear opinion.
State the preference in the introduction and develop the comparison between the two routes more critically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and clear sequencing produce logical progression throughout the response.
Use a slightly wider range of internal linking and avoid formulaic signposting such as announcing that an opinion will appear later.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad academic vocabulary, but several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as attaining a perfect job and earning at a better rate with more natural, precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, despite recurring errors in articles, agreement, pronouns, and parallelism.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb forms within coordinated lists.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.