More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?
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Sample Response
It is indeed a fact that any poor country can thrive with enough charity work. And youngsters from developed countries become a helping hand to such countries by doing works like teaching and construction. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind this trendthe reason behind it, and we will see how it benefits both parties.
Showing kindness to others is one of the most significant gestures. We often teach our young peopleones to help anyone in need, regardless of race, gender, or nationality. As a result, we have observed a lot of communities from affluent countries that try to help those in desperate need of help. This act of kindness teaches them the value of human life. In athis materialistic world, they learn about the importance of life. These acts also make them realize how fortunate they are and constantly remindreminds them to be humble and grateful. Such qualities cannot be taught in a classroom; therefore, they try to help people in developing countrieshelp people from developed countries.
On the other hand, countries that struggle to provide necessities benefit from the generous efforts of young foreign volunteersgenerous act of foreign youngsters. DisadvantagedUnfortunate people who cannot afford an education can benefit from the skills of young volunteerstake advantage of young talent. Also, benefitsBenefits are not limited to education only. Nowadays, volunteers also help build housesprovide help to build houses or help treat viral diseases using advanced technologycure viral diseases with the help of advanced technology.
NeverthelessBut still, who is more beneficial? In my opinionWell, In my opinion, both parties enjoy different benefits. Youngsters learn the most valuablecrucial lesson of kindness and develop a sense of satisfaction, and developing countriesthe developing country receive supportgets help with little orto no investment to resolve various urgentburning issues.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is easy to follow and uses relevant ideas about personal growth and practical support for poorer communities. Its main limitation is incomplete task coverage: the motivation is only partly explained, and the conclusion does not decide which side benefits more. The highest-priority improvement is to make a clear comparison and support it with more specific reasoning throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the reason is only partly developed and the response avoids a clear judgment about who benefits more.
State which group benefits more and justify that comparison with specific, fully developed reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression and sensible paragraphing, although some links between claims are loose or repetitive.
Give each body paragraph one precise purpose and make every supporting sentence advance that central idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural combinations such as volunteer work, gain the greatest benefit, and people in developing countries.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly despite recurring agreement, capitalization, and sentence-control errors.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, accurate reference words, and unnecessary capitalization.