Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
In recent times, most major cities around the world are experiencing rapid growth due to an increase in population. The surge in population has resulted in a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more congested and polluted. This essay will outline the reasons behind this growth and propose practical solutions to this problem.
One of the main reasons for the growth of urban populationsupsurge in population in city areas is migration. People are moving from rural areas to urban areas in search of better opportunities, such as employment and education. This population increase is compounded byThis migration is further compounded by natural population growth, which has also contributed to the overall increase in population in cities. As a result, the environment in city areas is becoming overcrowded and pollutedcontaminated.
To solve this problem, city planners need to take a holistic approach to urban planning. Firstly, cities need to be developed in such a way that they are self-sustainingsustainable, with infrastructure and resources that can meet the needs of the growing populationcater to the growing inhabitants. This includes the expansion of public transport systemsdevelopment of public transportation systems, such as trains and buses, to reduce congestion on roadsease the burden on roads and reduce air pollution. Additionally, cities need to be designed to includedesigned in a way that allows for green spaces and recreational areas, such as parks and playgrounds, to offset the effects of dense urban developmentcounterbalance the concrete jungle effect.
Furthermore, cities need to adopt more environmentally friendly practices, such as the use of renewable energy sources, such asrenewable energy sources, like solar power and wind power, to reduce their carbon footprint. Incentives should also be provided to encourage residents to use environmentally friendly modes of transportation, such as bicycles and electric cars.
In conclusion, the rapid growth of major cities around the world has led to an overall declinefall in the quality of life as the environment becomes polluted. This problem can be addressed throughby urban planning, including the development of self-sustainable cities with green spaces and the use of environmentally friendly practices. By implementing these solutions, we can ensure that city areas remain livable and sustainable for future generations.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions, using a clear progression and well-developed, practical proposals supported by consistently strong language control. The causes section is slightly less developed than the solutions, and a few expressions are somewhat imprecise. The highest priority is to add fuller explanation of how each cause drives urban growth while preserving the essay’s concise, cohesive organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the task with relevant causes and practical, well-explained solutions, though the causes receive less development.
Explain the mechanism and impact of each cause as fully as the proposed urban-planning solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices are used clearly without disrupting the flow.
Strengthen the balance of the argument by giving the causes section comparable structural weight to the solutions.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly, with only occasional slightly awkward choices such as growing inhabitants.
Refine the few less natural collocations by choosing precise alternatives such as a growing population.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the response is largely free of grammatical errors.
Maintain this control while varying a few repeated sentence openings in the solutions section.