Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.
Sample Response
Rapid developments in megacities and mass migration of population to these metropolitans with the hope of better life, career and future have ushered in a perplexing conundrum that leads to a worsening life standard, crowd and pollution in such big cities. City-centric development, better-earning prospects and amenities in large cities have primarily stimulated the development of this situation. The government needs to decentralise and focus on the development of suburban and rural areas to reverse the scenario.
Most megacities develop faster than any other part of the country and attract millions of people who migrate from other areas. This situation stems from the fact that the authority enables city-centric growth which makes the big cities the hub for business, trade, manufacturing, education, research, employment and so on. This city-centric development forces people to move to big cities to add more woes to the already deteriorating situation there. A large factory, for example, in a city can hire thousands of people, and most of these employees go there for a better career. Moreover, most universities, colleges, hospitals, offices and other amenities are located in the heart of large cities, and people move there to access those facilities. A recent statistic points out that more than 80 thousand students move to our capital city each year to get enrolled in different college and university courses.
To solve the ever-increasing population burden and pollution in metropolitan areas, the government has to move out many offices, colleges, factories and so on to remote areas. Without relocating those, the expectation of reducing pollution and crowd in big cities is far-fetched and impractical. For instance, at least 2.5 million factory workers live in our capital city who can not afford proper accommodation, sanitary bathrooms and clean drinking water. Diseases can spread faster there than anywhere else and could risk the whole city in the process. To move those people to suburban or rural areas, the government has to decentralise. Moreover, the development focus should not be only city-centric. It should rather be properly distributed. This will make sure people have jobs in rural areas and are not forced to move to a large city.
In conclusion, the phenomenal growth of cities poses different problems and increases pollution, and traffic congestion, and decreases living standards. Decentralisation and rural area-centric development can reverse the situation to a great extent.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: Rapid developments in megacities Suggested revision: Rapid growth of megacities Why it matters: “Growth of megacities” describes their expansion more precisely than “developments in” them.
- 2. Remove redundant noun Original: mass migration of population Suggested revision: mass migration Why it matters: “Migration” already refers to the movement of people, so “of population” is redundant.
- 3. Correct noun form Original: to these metropolitans Suggested revision: to these metropolitan areas Why it matters: “Metropolitan” is normally an adjective, so a noun such as “areas” is required.
- 4. Fix articles and phrasing Original: with the hope of better life, career and future Suggested revision: in the hope of a better life, career, and future Why it matters: The idiom is “in the hope of,” and the singular count noun “life” needs an article.
- 5. Use parallel terms Original: a worsening life standard, crowd and pollution Suggested revision: declining living standards, overcrowding, and pollution Why it matters: The replacement uses natural, parallel nouns for the three urban problems.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: better-earning prospects Suggested revision: better earning prospects Why it matters: “Earning prospects” is the natural noun phrase and does not take a hyphen here.
- 7. Use direct phrasing Original: stimulated the development of this situation Suggested revision: contributed to this situation Why it matters: The replacement states the causal relationship more clearly and concisely.
- 8. Improve collocation Original: reverse the scenario Suggested revision: reverse this trend Why it matters: A developing urban pattern is more naturally described as a trend than a scenario.
- 9. Use plural authority Original: the authority enables city-centric growth Suggested revision: the authorities enable city-centric growth Why it matters: Government decision-makers are conventionally referred to by the plural noun “authorities.”
- 10. Fix plural complement Original: the big cities the hub Suggested revision: big cities hubs Why it matters: The plural subject “cities” requires the plural complement “hubs.”
- 11. Clarify causal phrasing Original: to add more woes to Suggested revision: and adds further pressure to Why it matters: The original infinitive wrongly suggests that migrants move with the purpose of adding problems.
- 12. Use active verb Original: get enrolled in different college and university courses Suggested revision: enrol in different college and university courses Why it matters: The active verb “enrol” is the more natural construction here.
Suggested Rewrites
- Rapid developments in megacities Rapid growth of megacities
- mass migration of population mass migration
- to these metropolitans to these metropolitan areas
- with the hope of better life, career and future in the hope of a better life, career, and future
- a worsening life standard, crowd and pollution declining living standards, overcrowding, and pollution
- better-earning prospects better earning prospects
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both causes and solutions directly, using a strong central argument about city-centred development and supporting it with relevant examples in a clearly organised structure. Its main limitation is that some ambitious wording is unnatural or imprecise, and the proposed solution could be explained more practically. The highest priority is to use more natural collocations while detailing how decentralisation would be implemented and sustained.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through a well-developed explanation of urban concentration and a relevant decentralisation solution.
Explain practical implementation measures, such as incentives and infrastructure investment, to make the proposed decentralisation solution more concrete.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into focused paragraphs, and its ideas progress clearly from causes to solutions and conclusion.
Tighten a few internal transitions so supporting examples connect more explicitly to the precise cause or solution being discussed.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary, but several collocations are awkward or overly elaborate.
Choose more natural expressions such as metropolitan areas, declining living standards, and reduce overcrowding instead of forcing ambitious wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used with generally good control, though article, clause, punctuation, and noun-form errors occur occasionally.
Proofread complex sentences for cleaner relative clauses, parallel lists, and consistent singular and plural noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.
Your response
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