In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Same question Compare 2 different answers (Band 6.5–7)

Sample Response

In today's world, traffic congestion is an extremely difficult problem for commuters around the globe. A 10 minutes office to home ride had become a pathetic 40 minutes or even longer ride, spending one's valuable time on roads. This essay will explore some of the causes and recommended practices to reduce this issue.

The possible sources for increased traffic could be from several factors. Firstly, I consider migration of people from urban areas to cities in search of making a living as one of the primary reasons. This, in turn, leads to increased number of vehicles on the road. Based on a recent study conducted by the Transportation Department of London, there is a 20% surge in volume of car sale in the United Kingdom each year over the last decade. Secondly, failing to adhere to traffic rules is another factor contributing to the waiting time due to traffic.

The government and public should be pragmatic about the actions that will solve this issue. The government should encourage using public transport instead of personal vehicles because in my country one will hardly find a co-passenger in a car other than the driver. In addition, the traffic control department should implement stringent traffic rules, for instance, diverting traffic in peak hours on a particular avenue.

In summary, a rapid rise in the car users is one of a major reason for increasingly pathetic traffic congestion. The government and public should cooperate to reduce the number of vehicles by using public transport.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use accurate policy term Original: recommended practices Suggested revision: possible measures Why it matters: Measures is the natural term for actions proposed to address a problem.
  • 2. Fix verb collocation Original: reduce Suggested revision: address Why it matters: An issue is addressed or resolved rather than reduced.
  • 3. Fix sentence structure Original: possible sources for increased traffic could be from Suggested revision: increase in traffic could result from Why it matters: Result from correctly links the increase in traffic to its causes.
  • 4. Correct internal logic Original: urban Suggested revision: rural Why it matters: Cities are urban areas, so the original movement describes no meaningful contrast.
  • 5. Use natural purpose phrase Original: in search of making a living Suggested revision: in search of work Why it matters: In search of work is the natural concise expression for this purpose.
  • 6. Add missing article Original: leads to increased number Suggested revision: leads to an increased number Why it matters: The singular countable phrase increased number requires an article.
  • 7. Use concise traffic term Original: factor contributing to the waiting time due to traffic Suggested revision: factor contributing to traffic delays Why it matters: Traffic delays expresses the intended effect clearly and concisely.
  • 8. Complete verb pattern Original: encourage using public transport Suggested revision: encourage people to use public transport Why it matters: Encourage normally takes an object followed by a to-infinitive in this construction.
  • 9. Clarify car occupancy Original: one will hardly find a co-passenger in a car other than the driver Suggested revision: most cars carry no passenger other than the driver Why it matters: The revision states the low-occupancy point naturally and clearly.
  • 10. Use standard authority term Original: traffic control department Suggested revision: traffic authorities Why it matters: Traffic authorities is a more natural general term for the responsible agencies.
  • 11. Use correct collocation Original: implement Suggested revision: enforce Why it matters: Authorities enforce rules; implement is less accurate for ensuring compliance.
  • 12. Fix example structure Original: for instance, diverting traffic in peak hours on a particular avenue Suggested revision: for instance, by diverting traffic from a particular avenue during peak hours Why it matters: By introduces the method, while from and during correct the prepositions.

Suggested Rewrites

  • recommended practices possible measures
  • reduce address
  • possible sources for increased traffic could be from increase in traffic could result from
  • urban rural
  • in search of making a living in search of work
  • leads to increased number leads to an increased number
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response addresses both causes and solutions and maintains a clear four-paragraph progression, with enough relevant detail to keep the argument understandable. Its main weakness is imprecise development supported by awkward or sometimes contradictory wording and recurring grammar errors; the priority is to explain each cause-solution link more convincingly while correcting article, agreement, and noun-form errors.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.5
Scoring rule

Both parts of the task are covered with relevant causes and measures, but several points remain briefly or inconsistently explained.

Next step

Clarify how each stated cause increases congestion and show more specifically how each proposed action would reduce it.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The four-paragraph structure and sequencing are clear, although some links within paragraphs are mechanical or logically loose.

Next step

Strengthen progression by connecting every example explicitly to the cause or solution it is intended to support.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision.

Next step

Use natural combinations such as increase in car sales, traffic volume, and severe congestion, and avoid misusing emotive words such as pathetic.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

Complex structures are attempted and meaning remains clear, but errors in articles, agreement, tense, and noun forms recur.

Next step

Prioritize agreement and noun-phrase accuracy, especially with plural count nouns, articles, and verb forms in time-based statements.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Your response

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40:00

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