some people say it is acceptable to use animal for our benefit.Others say it is wrong to exploit them.Discuss both points of view and give your opinion

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Sample Response

1

In recent times, animal protection organisations are drawing attention toare appealing to attention on the issue of whether it is justifiable to exploit animals for human benefitbenefits. Different people hold divergent viewpoints, each with their own set of compelling reasons.

2

On the one hand, I consider it rational for proponents to argue that once reasonable boundaries are defined, leveraging animals to fulfill human requirements is both practical and acceptable. This viewpoint is rooted instands in the long-established mutual relationship between humanshuman and animals throughout history. In terms of food supplyFor food supplement, livestock and poultry farming has served as a critical source of high-quality protein, as the breeding of cattle, sheep and chickens feeds billions of worldwide populations with meat, eggs and dairy products. This ensures the basic dietary needs for survival. In addition, medical experimentation on animals is indisputably a cornerstone of progress in the field of medical researchhealth research area. A typical example is the drug tests on mice to examine the efficacy and the potential side effectseffect of newly developed cures, which paves the way for optimizing the results on human patients. Direct human drug experimentation would lead to higher lethality rates and correspondingly more severe ethical issues, so as a compromise, animal testingtest is the alternative that humans can now turn to.

3

However, I also agree with the opposite viewpoint that some forms of animal exploitation are morally indefensiblesome exploitation on animals is using morally wrong ways. The intensive farming mode is one of the sore points. Livestock are crowded in small enclosures, along with unsanitary feeding environments, leading to the rampantrendering the rampant spread of infectious diseases and consequently the abuse of antibiotics. In some farms, chickens are caged in tiny boxes, unable to stretch their wings, with their beaks clipped, and spend their whole life in the light that violating their natural biological clock, all to satisfy people's appetite for cheap protein. Animal experimentation also subjects them to extremely cruel conditions. To mimic human diseases, laboratory animals are constantly made ill and suffer from endless surgeries and stimuli injections. Some research on neuroscience may implant electrodesplant electrode inside the brain of laboratory mice, and during the long-term observation, their natural behaviour and social activities are irreversibly disrupted, which has elicited international condemnation.

4

In my opinion, we should harness the benefits of animals under the condition that their rights and dignity is safeguarded. To be more specific, we must define boundaries to respect their rights and welfare. For example, we need to set clear rules on the operations of farms, which not only ensures the welfare of farm animals but also the food safety for consumers; furthermore, we could also utilize modern technology to explore alternative methods to replace animals used in lab research, such as computer simulations.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The essay presents a well-developed discussion of both perspectives on animal usage, supported by rich examples and a clear personal stance. Paragraphing and logical progression are executed smoothly throughout the response, supported by sophisticated vocabulary choices. To raise the writing to an even higher standard, focus on refining subtle grammatical errors and relative clause structures to match the precision of your lexicon.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

You address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, giving clear arguments for both viewpoints alongside a nuanced personal opinion.

Next step

Ensure your final opinion paragraph directly ties your proposed solutions back to the opposing arguments for an even stronger conclusion.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

Paragraphing is logical, and ideas flow naturally with clear central topics and effective cohesive devices.

Next step

Vary your transition phrases between paragraphs slightly to avoid overusing standard expressions like 'On the one hand' and 'However'.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

You demonstrate a wide range of topic-specific vocabulary with natural collocation and high precision.

Next step

Pay close attention to minor prepositional collocations, such as correcting 'appealing to attention on' to 'drawing attention to'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A variety of complex structures is used with good general control, though occasional minor grammatical errors occur.

Next step

Proofread complex sentence constructions to prevent subject-verb agreement slips and participle confusion, such as in relative clauses.