some people say it is acceptable to use animal for our benefit.Others say it is wrong to exploit them.Discuss both points of view and give your opinion
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
We cannot deny the fact that human exploit animals to be beneficial on their own, which leads some argue that if it is justifiable. Different people hold divergent viewpoints, each with their own set of compelling reasons.
Proponents believes it has a positive impact on the food supplyfood supplyment and medical research. First, exploiting animals may obtain enough food resources such as meat, eggs, andmeat, egg and dairy products. To elaborate, farmersfarmmers who are skilled with livestock and poultry farming could stably provide food resources to fulfill human requirementsrequirments, safeguarding food security. Meanwhile, animals play a vital role in laboratorieslaborotories, particularly as a respondent to test efficiency of newly developed medicines. Thus, by examiningexaminating animals, researchers could modify and optimize the production without sacrificingsacrificng the effectiveness and safetysafty concerns. As a result, animals partipation contributes to a better final products, regarding as a cornerstonecornstone of progress.
Opponents argue these behaviours are morally wrong. Animals may confront intensive farming and cruel experiment if human overexploit themoverexploite. To be more specific, human who has a surging demand on meat and dairy products due to popularity of fine dining and sorts of desserts may compel animals to produce, leading to ignoringingoring the living and health issues of animals. Simultaneously, to pursue maximum monetary profit, companies may test medicines on animals without safety considerationssafty cpnsiderations, which cause inevitableineviatable death. As a result, it seems detrimental actiona detrimental actions towards animals.
Personally speaking, I contend human should leverage animals with defined boundaries and clear rules to protect animals' basic rightsanimals basic rights. For cruel experiments, human ought to explore alternative methods, for instance, testing in the computers untilutill it will not cause death.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the debate and presents a clear personal stance on using animals within ethical boundaries. The main limitation lies in frequent language slips, particularly spelling mistakes and minor grammatical inconsistencies, which distract from the arguments. To raise the overall quality, the writer should focus on proofreading to eliminate typos and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement throughout complex sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both viewpoints presented in the prompt and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
Introduce your personal perspective briefly in the introduction to maintain a clear stance throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically organized into clear paragraphs with clear progression and appropriate transition signals.
Vary linking expressions to avoid relying on similar structural phrases like 'As a result' across multiple paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, but frequent spelling mistakes reduce overall precision.
Proofread carefully to correct recurring spelling slips in topic vocabulary and common academic words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is used to convey meaning, but agreement and phrasing errors occur throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun forms to ensure greater accuracy in complex sentence structures.