In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It has become increasingly common in recent years for people around the worldindividuals globally to dress in western-influenced clothing. In my opinion, this is a natural result of corporate and cultural globalization and is broadly negative.
The main cause of this phenomenon is globalization. This relates firstly to culture. The growth of the media industry in general and online media in particulargenerally and online media more specifically has primarily spread American cultural valueshas spread primarily American cultural values. Individuals living in distant nations watch the latest Hollywood blockbustersthe latest blockbuster Hollywood movies, listen to the same singers and emulate their lifestyles, including their fashion choicesemulate their lifestyle choices including fashion. Secondly, mass production facilitatesenables this homogeneity. Hundreds of years ago, consumers had no choice other than to buy clothes produced by local artisans. Now, companies like Louis Vuitton and Tommy Hilfiger can mass-produce identical garmentsfabricate identical items of clothing to be shipped globally at affordable prices, forcing many local businesses into bankruptcy.
The positive side of this trend, lower prices and potential inspiration from western fashion, are largely overshadowed by the harmfulinjurious impact on cultural diversity. For example, in many parts of Asia, there are rich cultural traditionsthere are the rich cultural traditions of various ethnic minorities. These skilled garment-makers follow traditions dating back hundreds of years. The clothing produced is not only beautiful, but also more environmentally friendly and unique. However, these days few local residents are interested as they prefer prestigious Western fashion brandswealthy western fashion brands that showcase their social status. The result is that the values being espoused by fashion are material wealth and appearances rather than tradition, culture, and artistic skill.
In conclusion, western fashion trends are ubiquitous today due to the effects of globalization and this represents a negative shift in values. Individuals should therefore strive to ignore these trends and purchase clothes that express their culture better when possible.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The essay answers both questions directly, sustaining a clear negative evaluation while explaining cultural media influence and global mass production in depth. Its progression and vocabulary are particularly strong, though a few grammatical agreement slips and slightly strained word choices weaken an otherwise polished response. The highest-priority improvement is careful final editing for subject-verb agreement and fully natural lexical combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and the writer’s negative evaluation are addressed directly through well-developed explanations and relevant cultural examples.
Strengthen the evaluation further by acknowledging the stated benefits more specifically before demonstrating why the cultural costs outweigh them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and arguments are sequenced with highly clear progression, and paragraphing and referencing support an effortless overall flow.
Make the internal transition from cultural influence to mass production slightly smoother so the two causes form an even more integrated explanation.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, although a few choices such as “wealthy western fashion brands” and “injurious impact” feel less natural.
Replace occasional over-formal or imprecise combinations with idiomatic alternatives such as “luxury Western brands” and “harmful effect.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, with only occasional agreement errors that do not affect clarity.
Proofread subject-verb agreement in constructions such as “The positive side ... is” and simplify awkward existential phrasing where needed.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.