In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is seen that in several nations masses currently wear western attires than traditional apparels. Among the main reasonsOut of many reasons, current fashion trends, as well asprevalent fashion, as well as the influence of famous celebrities, compel them to wear western clothes. I think it is a positive development, and the subsequent paragraphs will elucidate the reasons for this viewthe information regarding it.
To begin withFirst off, current fashion trends are responsibleprevalent fashion is responsible for making people wear western attires. Western clothes are more comfortable and in different designs. So, people think, when they wear western clothes, they feel confident and look up to datelook up-to-dated. They do not consider themselves backwardconsider them backwards anymore. So, they wear this kind of apparelsuch kinds of apparel. For instance, there are various styles of dresses to wear on different occasions. So, people are attracted to these stylesget tempted by these and purchase western dresses. In a nutshell, western clothes are in vibrant colours and are more comfortable, so it is the choice of every working mother. It is because mothers do not have time to iron their clothesiron the press. So, they consider a top and a Jean is best for her to wear regularly. Thus, such kinds of clothes make them feel lighter, and these mothers are not latedo not get late for any of their meetings. So, they prefer western attires.
Furthermore, nowadaysNowadays, people are mostly influenced by famous celebrities, whowhich are widely known by their appearance or styles. So, artists' personalities influence peopleartists personalities influence the people to dresswear like them. So, they prefer more western clothes. Besides, they believe that if they wearconsider if they wear clothes like them, they can look dandy, and they will also be popular among people. Therefore, they wear western clothes. Also, to get rid of their old look, western dresses make them feel satisfied. Apart from it, some are entrepreneurs, so they have to deal with foreign clients. Thus to complete their dealsmake their deals done and to make others comfortable, they wear western clothes.
To conclude, in consideration of the above analysis, it is true that people wear western clothes because they want to improve their imagegroom their personality as well as follow famous actors and to be like them, they wear western apparel. I think it is a positive development because they feel confident as well as energetic when they wear western clothes.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear position and supplies several relevant reasons for the popularity of Western clothing, so its central message remains easy to follow. However, the positive evaluation is largely asserted through repeated claims about confidence and convenience, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision. Develop the evaluative argument with one focused cause-and-effect example, then edit for natural collocations, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions and states a consistent positive position, but the reasons are repetitive and the evaluation is only partly developed.
Explain one specific wider benefit of adopting Western clothing and support it with a clear cause-and-effect example rather than repeated assertions about confidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall progression from fashion and convenience to celebrity and business influence is clear, although cohesion is repetitive and some ideas are loosely connected.
Replace repeated sentence-initial So with more varied logical connections and divide the long first body paragraph into more focused stages.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss fashion, comfort, influence, and work, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural singular and uncountable forms such as attire and clothing, and replace phrases such as iron the press and make their deals done.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, capitalization, and sentence construction remain noticeable throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and article-pronoun consistency, then combine short repetitive clauses into accurately controlled complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.