Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
There areis some debates over whether money spent on wildlife protectionwhether money that is spent on wildlife protection could be better spent on helping people. Personally, I believe that the protection of wild animals is extremely important and that countries need to invest more money in preserving their native speciespreserving their native animal species.
Firstly, I do not believe that much time or money is actually spent on protecting wild animals. In addition, I believe that a large majority of time that people spend on such issues is voluntary work that people do because they are passionate about saving and helping animals. MoreoverAdditionally, a large amount of money spent on these causes comes frommoney that is spent on these causes is from charitable organisations that rely mostly on donationscharity organisations which rely mostly on donations. Therefore, we cannot tell people which charities they shouldwhat charities that they should or should not give their time and money todonate their time and money towards.
Secondly, while many people believe that humans are the superior speciesrace on Earthplanet Earth, others, including myself, feel that all living beings, humans and animalshuman and animal, have equal rights to live in peace, and therefore the protection of wildall animals and their habitats is extremely important. Human activity is undoubtedly the main causeno doubt the main cause of most problems wild animals face. HumanityThe human race has continued to destroy the planet and the natural habitats of wild animals and therefore should be responsible for protecting them so that they can live freely in the wildlive wild and free, as is their natural state.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is essential for the health of the planet to maintain diverse wildlifea diverse range of animals and wildlife within all eco-systems. I also believe that due to the widespread devastation humans have caused to the natural environment, it is our responsibility to do whatever is necessarydo whatever necessary, regardless of the time and money requiredregardless of time and money, in order to restore a healthy balance to the planet’s natural environments.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response takes an unequivocal position and develops a persuasive, well-organised case through arguments about voluntary funding, animal rights, and human responsibility for environmental harm. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision and repetition, alongside a few conspicuous grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to refine sentence-level accuracy and make the comparison with spending on human needs more explicit while preserving the strong line of argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the opinion question with a clear position and relevant, well-developed reasons that challenge the premise and justify protection.
Make the resource comparison even more explicit by briefly explaining why human needs do not justify reducing wildlife protection.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through focused paragraphs, though repeated stance markers and additive links are slightly noticeable.
Vary the way supporting points are introduced and tighten repeated expressions of personal belief.
Lexical Resource
A flexible and generally precise vocabulary supports the ethical and environmental argument, with only occasional awkward or less exact choices.
Choose more precise terms for human dominance and ecological systems, and avoid unnecessary repetition of “protection” and “believe.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of structures is used with good control, while a small number of agreement and clause-construction errors remain conspicuous.
Correct isolated forms such as “There is some debates,” “what charities that,” and “whatever necessary” through a final grammar check.