Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Whether women should be allowed to serve in the military has triggered spirited debate. Some assert that women should be allowed to defend their country in the same capacity as their male peers. Personally, I agree with this viewtheir assertion for two reasons.
History has shown that women are fully capable of performing well in the military. DeleteHistorically, there were manya host of valiant women soldiers whose achievements demonstrated abilities comparable to those of their male counterpartsreally put their male counterparts to shame. One need only look at the classic examples of Joan of Arc and Mulan to see how exceptionally well women could performhow exceptionally women could perform on the battlefield. In my viewobservation, their determination, courage and dignityare still, to this day, are still being admired by male soldiers and civilians alike throughout the world.
Moreover, from the standpoint of equal rightsfrom an enlightened standpoint, female patriots should be granted the right to serve on the front linego to the front line when their countrymotherland is involved in a war. Admittedly, gender inequality was a highly controversial issue in the twentieth century. However, now twelve years into the new millennium, women can learn and teach, work and supervise, vote and be electedvote and voted in most countries just like men. In light of this sweeping progress in gender equality, there is no sense in denying them the right to defend their home country when a war breaks out.
In sum, keeping military services out of bounds of women in the information age is unwarranted. I have been convinced that it is in the best interest of a nation if women are also granted equal rights in this particular arena.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear and consistently maintained position, supported by a logical structure and a notably broad, confident vocabulary. Its main limitation is that the two arguments rely on general historical and equality-based claims rather than examining practical military roles or counterarguments in depth. The strongest improvement would be to develop each reason with more specific contemporary analysis while correcting occasional awkward phrasing and faulty parallelism.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant reasons, though some claims remain broad and idealised.
Develop the practical implications of equal military service and address a plausible opposing concern in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-defined paragraphs, with cohesive devices generally guiding the reader smoothly.
Make the internal movement within body paragraphs even more natural by reducing repeated framing expressions and sharpening links between claims and examples.
Lexical Resource
A broad and often precise vocabulary conveys the argument confidently, despite a few awkward collocations.
Replace unnatural expressions about performance and access to military service with more idiomatic, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, although occasional phrasing and parallelism errors remain.
Proofread coordinated verb sequences carefully so that items such as learn, work, and vote retain consistent grammatical forms.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.