In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Sample Response
It is a fact that in many countries governments setin many countries the government set standards for a safe workplacesome standards about a safe workplace, such as wearing protective equipmentsome protection gears in the workplace. I personally support the idea as working under safe conditionsworking in a safe condition is an essential requirementfact, and the following essay will discuss it in detaildetails. To begin with, it is true that in certain countries, the government is concerned about the safe work environment. As injuries and accidents at work have been frequently reported, the government sets policiesthe government set some policies about safety at work, which cover many aspectswhich covers so many aspects. One exampleOne of the examples is that heavy industry companies should provide their workers with the appropriate safety equipment, as the risk of being injured at work is high in this industry. In another example, drivers of special vehicles such as bulldozers or forkliftsvehicles such as bulldozer or forklift must have a validregistered certificate or a special license, as driving these vehicles requires specialised skillsrequires special techniques. If I hadhave the authority to set some regulations about safety, I would set these kinds of policies. Firstly, every company should make a report about healthy, safe, and environmentally responsible conditionshealth, safe and green environment in itstheir workplace. This report should be submitted to the authority on an annual basis, and companies who fail to submit their report on time will be subject to penaltiescharged with penalties. Secondly, there would be a regulation requiring safety auditsa regulation about safety audit. The government should establish audit teamsset some audit teams, which will inspect companies' safety conditionscompanies’ safety environment during working hoursduring their work hour. Companies with unsatisfactory audit result must be reassessed during the renewal of their business licenses. By having these two policies, it is hoped that companies will implement a safe and healthy working environment in their workplace. In conclusion, I strongly agree that safety at work is an important thing, as many governments have set some specific rules about it. Should I be the authorised person, I would make some safety regulations which enforce companies to make a timely safety report, and conduct safety audits.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response fully engages with both questions, clearly supporting workplace-safety laws and proposing concrete reporting and audit requirements with enforcement mechanisms. Its main limitation is that the entire discussion is compressed into one paragraph and contains recurrent grammatical and collocational errors; the priority is to separate the evaluation from the proposed laws and edit sentence structures and workplace terminology for greater accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear supportive position and two specific proposed regulations that are explained through implementation and penalties.
Develop why annual reporting and inspections would prevent accidents, using one concrete example of how each policy changes workplace practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses recognisably from existing laws to proposed policies and a conclusion, but the single paragraph weakens organisation and emphasis.
Use separate paragraphs for the value of current laws, reporting requirements, safety audits, and the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient workplace and regulatory vocabulary, but repetition and frequent inaccurate combinations reduce precision.
Use natural terms such as protective equipment, occupational health and safety report, inspection team, and financial penalty.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, although agreement, articles, plurals, and conditional forms are frequently inaccurate.
Use a consistent hypothetical form such as if I had authority, I would, and check noun agreement throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.