In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Sample Response
It is a fact that in many countries the government set some standards about a safe workplace, such as wearing some protection gears in the workplace. I personally support the idea as working in a safe condition is an essential fact, and the following essay will discuss it in details. To begin with, it is true that in certain countries, the government is concerned about the safe work environment. As injuries and accidents at work have been frequently reported, the government set some policies about safety at work, which covers so many aspects. One of the examples is that heavy industry companies should provide their workers with the appropriate safety equipment, as the risk of being injured at work is high in this industry. In another example, drivers of special vehicles such as bulldozer or forklift must have a registered certificate or a special license, as driving these vehicles requires special techniques. If I have the authority to set some regulations about safety, I would set these kinds of policies. Firstly, every company should make a report about health, safe and green environment in their workplace. This report should be submitted to the authority on an annual basis, and companies who fail to submit their report on time will be charged with penalties. Secondly, there would be a regulation about safety audit. The government should set some audit teams, which will inspect companies’ safety environment during their work hour. Companies with unsatisfactory audit result must be reassessed during the renewal of their business licenses. By having these two policies, it is hoped that companies will implement a safe and healthy working environment in their workplace. In conclusion, I strongly agree that safety at work is an important thing, as many governments have set some specific rules about it. Should I be the authorised person, I would make some safety regulations which enforce companies to make a timely safety report, and conduct safety audits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match plural countries Original: in many countries the government set Suggested revision: in many countries governments set Why it matters: The plural reference to countries calls for the plural subject 'governments'.
- 2. Use correct preposition Original: some standards about a safe workplace Suggested revision: standards for a safe workplace Why it matters: Standards are established 'for' workplace safety rather than 'about' it.
- 3. Use uncountable equipment Original: some protection gears Suggested revision: protective equipment Why it matters: 'Gear' is uncountable, and 'protective equipment' is the standard workplace term.
- 4. Use plural conditions Original: working in a safe condition Suggested revision: working under safe conditions Why it matters: The plural phrase with 'under' naturally describes workplace circumstances.
- 5. Use accurate noun Original: fact Suggested revision: requirement Why it matters: Safety is a requirement rather than a fact in this claim.
- 6. Use fixed expression Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'in detail' with the singular noun.
- 7. Use present agreement Original: the government set some policies Suggested revision: the government sets policies Why it matters: The singular subject takes 'sets' when describing a general current practice.
- 8. Match plural antecedent Original: which covers so many aspects Suggested revision: which cover many aspects Why it matters: The relative verb must agree with the plural antecedent 'policies'.
- 9. Use concise example marker Original: One of the examples Suggested revision: One example Why it matters: 'One example' introduces the illustration directly.
- 10. Use plural examples Original: vehicles such as bulldozer or forklift Suggested revision: vehicles such as bulldozers or forklifts Why it matters: General examples after 'such as' should use plural count nouns here.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: registered Suggested revision: valid Why it matters: Certificates are described as valid rather than registered.
- 12. Use precise ability term Original: requires special techniques Suggested revision: requires specialised skills Why it matters: Operating vehicles requires skills rather than techniques in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- in many countries the government set in many countries governments set
- some standards about a safe workplace standards for a safe workplace
- some protection gears protective equipment
- working in a safe condition working under safe conditions
- fact requirement
- details detail
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response fully engages with both questions, clearly supporting workplace-safety laws and proposing concrete reporting and audit requirements with enforcement mechanisms. Its main limitation is that the entire discussion is compressed into one paragraph and contains recurrent grammatical and collocational errors; the priority is to separate the evaluation from the proposed laws and edit sentence structures and workplace terminology for greater accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear supportive position and two specific proposed regulations that are explained through implementation and penalties.
Develop why annual reporting and inspections would prevent accidents, using one concrete example of how each policy changes workplace practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses recognisably from existing laws to proposed policies and a conclusion, but the single paragraph weakens organisation and emphasis.
Use separate paragraphs for the value of current laws, reporting requirements, safety audits, and the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient workplace and regulatory vocabulary, but repetition and frequent inaccurate combinations reduce precision.
Use natural terms such as protective equipment, occupational health and safety report, inspection team, and financial penalty.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, although agreement, articles, plurals, and conditional forms are frequently inaccurate.
Use a consistent hypothetical form such as if I had authority, I would, and check noun agreement throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.