Some organizations impose the rule of wearing a uniform in the workplace. Do you think that employees in certain organizations should wear a uniform? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Sample Response
I strongly agree thatI strongly agree with the notion that entertainers todayentertainers, today, are paid excessivelypaid an excessive amount of money. NowadaysIn current times, science and technology have madetaken major strides to improve our societyfor the betterment of our society. Our focus should be on supportingfacilitating such endeavours rather than on entertainment. I believe all the biological scientists such asbiological scientists like pharmacists, biochemists, microbiologists, and othersmicrobiologists etc. in our society should be paid more than people in the entertainment industrypaid more than the people in the entertainment business. These people or as we dub them ‘nerds’ spend valuable hours in their lives in discovering a new molecule that might be used to make our lives better. Their goal is to developdiscover novel ideas and to create innovative techniques. Thus, rather than spending their time with their families or an evening in the theatre, they immerse themselves in their laboratories working night after night, maybe, discover a new drug. For such sacrifices, these scientists should receive appropriate remunerationget their due remuneration. However, this imbalance is evident in our societya discrepancy can be seen in our society. We tend to value people in the entertainment business more than the scientists who might be working on an Ebola vaccineworking on the Ebola virus vaccine. I do not devalue the hard work ofby an actor or a football player. They have had to achieve stardomThey had to reach their stardom after endless practice sessions and failures. However, if we make an objective comparison, at the end of the day, it is the work of a microbiologist or a biochemist that helps us to live a healthy and disease-free life. So, our money should be spent on those individuals who strive to bring about a healthier and more comfortable societyhealthier and comfortable society.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is linguistically clear and develops a coherent argument about the relative value of scientists and entertainers. Its central limitation is that this argument is entirely unrelated to the question about workplace uniforms, so the task itself is not addressed; the highest-priority improvement is to analyse whether particular employees should wear uniforms and support that position with relevant reasons and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response does not address workplace uniforms and instead answers an unrelated question about the pay of entertainers and scientists.
Build the entire argument around whether employees in particular organizations should wear uniforms, with reasons and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The unrelated argument nevertheless follows a generally clear progression, although presenting it as one long paragraph weakens its organization.
Separate the introduction, main reasons, counterpoint, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, with effective less common items, though several collocations and expressions are awkward.
Refine collocations such as those describing research, sacrifice, and social benefit so that the phrasing sounds consistently natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, despite occasional awkward constructions and punctuation slips.
Edit complex sentences for cleaner clause control, especially around participle structures and parenthetical expressions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some organizations impose the rule of wearing a uniform in the workplace. Do you think that employees in certain organizations should wear a uniform? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.