The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
Sample Response
The rise in the human populationrise of human population, an ongoing global concern, is caused by technological advancements since the Industrial Revolution. While this issue is widely consideredconsidered as one of the most serious problems, in my opinion, the greatest threat to humanity in the 21st century is climate change.
Rapid growth in the human populationA rapid growth of human population usually coincides with technological advancesa technological outbreak. Since the Industrial Revolution, human society has gradually shifted from craft production to machine-based manufacturingshifted from craft production to machines. Thus, for the first time, mass production became possiblemass production is available. This situation has increased life expectancy for most peopleincreases life expectancy of the majority of the people by providing stable food supplies and medical caretreatments. Consequently, the world population has grownworld population has risen; now it has exceededpassed the point of 7.5 billion.
The consequences of an increasing population are detrimental. Overpopulation contributes to overconsumptionOverpopulation is the reason for overconsumption, which results in resource depletion and environmental degradation. Unemployment is also seen in densely populated areas.
However, climate change, instead of overpopulation, is the biggest global challenge nowadays. Many developed nations have low birth rates due to high levelslevel of education; therefore, overpopulation is not a global phenomenonoverpopulation does not happen on a global scale. By contrast, climate change has been affecting both ecosystemsboth of ecosystems and social systems around the world. From an environmental perspective, climate change creates more extreme weather conditions, thus hampering the agricultural industry. Furthermore, global warming leads to rising sea levelssea level rises, which force peoplewhich forces the people in coastal regions to migrate. This situation causes many social issues, such as overpopulation or crimecriminality.
To conclude, the recent rise of world population happens due to technological advancements. Nevertheless, despite human overpopulation and its negative effects, what should be addressed first and foremost is climate change.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and coherent comparison between population growth and climate change, supported by relevant environmental and social consequences. Its main limitation is that the causes of population growth are reduced largely to one broad technological explanation, so this part lacks breadth and nuance. Add another distinct cause and explain each causal mechanism more precisely while correcting the few awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions receive a clear answer and the position is developed, but the explanation of causes relies almost entirely on one broad factor.
Develop at least one additional distinct cause, such as falling mortality or changing family patterns, with a clear causal chain.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the stated cause to consequences, comparison with climate change, and a consistent conclusion.
Integrate the short consequences paragraph more closely into the comparative argument so every paragraph advances the central position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise across demographic, technological, and environmental topics, with only occasional awkward choices.
Refine isolated combinations such as technological outbreak and both of ecosystems to make otherwise strong expression fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used flexibly and are mostly accurate, although a few article, preposition, and noun-form errors remain.
Proofread noun phrases and fixed constructions, especially articles and structures such as both ecosystems and sea-level rise.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.