Nowadays in many countries, young people don’t communicate with older people as much as they used to. Why is this happening? How could this situation be improved?
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
TodayIn this day and age, many countries are seeing thata large number of nations are grappling with the phenomenon that younger generations no longer communicate as frequently with their elders as they used to. There are various reasons why this situation has arisen and several solutions can be implemented to improve itin order to improve it.
Firstly, one of the main factors causing this communication gap between young people and older generations is the increasing use of technology among younger generationsthe ever-increasing technology usage among young generations. Many young people spend their time on devices like computers, smartphones or tablets, which provide them with platforms for social interaction without real-life physical contact or communication with other people. Older people, on the other hand, prefer traditional ways of communicatingthe old-fashioned ways to communicate, which means there are fewer opportunities for contact between the generations.
Another possible reason behind the lack of communication among members of different age groups is the influence of cultural valuesis the cultural values that have been instilled over generationsthroughout history; for instance, in many countries, children are taught from an early age to respect and obey their elders without questioning them. As a result, when younger generations become adults, they may find it difficult to have meaningful conversations with older people in which opinionsolder people where opinions can be freely shared and discussed.
In order to improve this situation, several stepsimprove this situation several steps can be taken. For example, schools can incorporate classes focusing on inter-generational dialogue so that students cancould learn how to communicate effectively with people of all agesacross all ages by discussing topics such as politics or culture in a respectful manner. Additionally, families could encourage younger members of the family to spend more time talking with their grandparents and uncles/aunts, either in person or on the phone, instead of just spending their free time online. This could help create stronger bonds between different generations within a family.
To sum up, it is clear that raising awareness about this issue is key, since it carries significant implications for our society’s future development if left unresolved. Thus, everyone should take action towards promoting inter-generational dialogues so that our young and old can learn from each other’s experiences and create better connections within our societies moving forward.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both causes and solutions, and its strongest feature is the orderly development of two distinct reasons followed by practical measures. The main limitation is that several claims remain general or slightly strained, particularly the historical explanation of respect and obedience. The highest-priority improvement is to make each causal link more precise and support it with a concrete, credible illustration.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered fully with two relevant causes and clearly connected school- and family-based solutions.
Develop the claim about traditional respect more concretely to show exactly how it inhibits present-day conversation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear overall progression, effective paragraphing, and well-controlled links between causes, effects, and solutions.
Use a more specific final summary instead of shifting to the broader claim about society’s future development.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad topic-appropriate vocabulary, although a few combinations such as technology usage among young generations are awkward.
Replace repetitive or unnatural combinations with precise alternatives, such as technology use among younger people.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and generally accurate, with only occasional minor punctuation or modal-choice issues.
Add the missing comma after the opening dependent phrase in In order to improve this situation several steps can be taken.