Nowadays in many countries, young people don’t communicate with older people as much as they used to. Why is this happening? How could this situation be improved?
Sample Response
In this day and age, a large number of nations are grappling with the phenomenon that younger generations no longer communicate as frequently with their elders as they used to. There are various reasons why this situation has arisen and several solutions can be implemented in order to improve it.
Firstly, one of the main factors causing this communication gap between young people and older generations is the ever-increasing technology usage among young generations. Many young people spend their time on devices like computers, smartphones or tablets, which provide them with platforms for social interaction without real-life physical contact or communication with other people. Older people, on the other hand, prefer the old-fashioned ways to communicate, which means there are fewer opportunities for contact between the generations.
Another possible reason behind the lack of communication among members of different age groups is the cultural values that have been instilled throughout history; for instance, in many countries, children are taught from an early age to respect and obey their elders without questioning them. As a result, when younger generations become adults, they may find it difficult to have meaningful conversations with older people where opinions can be freely shared and discussed.
In order to improve this situation several steps can be taken. For example, schools can incorporate classes focusing on inter-generational dialogue so that students could learn how to communicate effectively across all ages by discussing topics such as politics or culture in a respectful manner. Additionally, families could encourage younger members of the family to spend more time talking with their grandparents and uncles/aunts, either in person or on the phone, instead of just spending their free time online. This could help create stronger bonds between different generations within a family.
To sum up, it is clear that raising awareness about this issue is key, since it carries significant implications for our society’s future development if left unresolved. Thus, everyone should take action towards promoting inter-generational dialogues so that our young and old can learn from each other’s experiences and create better connections within our societies moving forward.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise opener Original: In this day and age Suggested revision: Today Why it matters: The shorter opener is more direct and avoids a formulaic expression.
- 2. Reduce inflated wording Original: a large number of nations are grappling with the phenomenon that Suggested revision: many countries are seeing that Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 3. Remove wordiness Original: in order to improve it Suggested revision: to improve it Why it matters: “To” expresses purpose fully without the unnecessary extra words.
- 4. Fix awkward collocation Original: the ever-increasing technology usage among young generations Suggested revision: the increasing use of technology among younger generations Why it matters: “Use of technology” and “younger generations” are the natural collocations here.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: the old-fashioned ways to communicate Suggested revision: traditional ways of communicating Why it matters: The gerund construction is more idiomatic, while “traditional” maintains an appropriately neutral tone.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: is the cultural values Suggested revision: is the influence of cultural values Why it matters: The singular complement “influence” agrees with “one reason” and preserves the intended meaning.
- 7. Use a precise timescale Original: throughout history Suggested revision: over generations Why it matters: The revision more accurately describes how cultural values are passed down.
- 8. Fix relative structure Original: older people where opinions Suggested revision: older people in which opinions Why it matters: “In which” correctly refers to the conversations rather than treating people as a place.
- 9. Add the introductory comma Original: improve this situation several steps Suggested revision: improve this situation, several steps Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory purpose phrase.
- 10. Keep modality consistent Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: “Can” matches the real, practical proposal introduced by “schools can incorporate.”
- 11. Fix the collocation Original: across all ages Suggested revision: with people of all ages Why it matters: People communicate with age groups, so this phrase states the relationship naturally.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Many young people spend their time on devices like computers, smartphones or tablets, which provide them with platforms for social interaction without real-life physical contact or communication with other people. Suggested revision: Many young people spend their time on devices such as computers, smartphones, or tablets, which allow them to interact socially without face-to-face contact. Why it matters: This revision removes the contradiction and repetition in “social interaction” without “communication.”
Suggested Rewrites
- In this day and age Today
- a large number of nations are grappling with the phenomenon that many countries are seeing that
- in order to improve it to improve it
- the ever-increasing technology usage among young generations the increasing use of technology among younger generations
- the old-fashioned ways to communicate traditional ways of communicating
- is the cultural values is the influence of cultural values
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both causes and solutions, and its strongest feature is the orderly development of two distinct reasons followed by practical measures. The main limitation is that several claims remain general or slightly strained, particularly the historical explanation of respect and obedience. The highest-priority improvement is to make each causal link more precise and support it with a concrete, credible illustration.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered fully with two relevant causes and clearly connected school- and family-based solutions.
Develop the claim about traditional respect more concretely to show exactly how it inhibits present-day conversation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear overall progression, effective paragraphing, and well-controlled links between causes, effects, and solutions.
Use a more specific final summary instead of shifting to the broader claim about society’s future development.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad topic-appropriate vocabulary, although a few combinations such as technology usage among young generations are awkward.
Replace repetitive or unnatural combinations with precise alternatives, such as technology use among younger people.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and generally accurate, with only occasional minor punctuation or modal-choice issues.
Add the missing comma after the opening dependent phrase in In order to improve this situation several steps can be taken.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays in many countries, young people don’t communicate with older people as much as they used to. Why is this happening? How could this situation be improved?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.