Many young people change their jobs and careers. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, many young people change their jobs and careers. There are several reasons for this trend, such as job dissatisfactionnot liking the jobs. In my opinion, the disadvantages of young people changing their jobs and careers outweigh the advantages because frequent job-hopping can harm young people's long-term career prospectsyoung people can not be accepted in their jobs.
First, one of the reasons why young people change their jobs and careers is that they do not like their current jobsthis job. When the young have to put a great deal of effort into their jobs , their employers do not compensate them fairlytheir company just pays them without equal payment. Moreover , young people often feelthe young people can feel stressed when working, making them decide to quit their jobs. Second, many young people have conflicts with their co-workersworker in the company. As a result, colleagues may become enviousthe colleague can envy, which leads to conflicts.
Regarding the disadvantages and advantages. I believe the disadvantages of many young people changing their jobs and careers outweigh the advantagesoutweigh advantages. One of the important disadvantages is that young people do not have job stabilityfixed work. When the young always change their work, they can easily have a poor professional reputationbad profile . As a consequence, the company will not let them work in their company. Moreover, the young people will develop a low tolerance for workplace stresshave bad capabilities of tolerance. When young people feel stressed , their productivity will decrease, which makes them more likely to be dismissedwhich makes them easily fired. However, this trend can also have some advantages. When many young people experience a lot of jobs and careers, they gain diverse professional experiencecan have plenty of work and a new environment, new workmates.Not only that, when young people change their jobs and careers, they can have better work with higher pay and less stresshigher payment, less stress. Therefore, this helps young people put more effort into working productivelyhave more efforts to work more productivity. Consequently, many young people can easily get a promotion.
In conclusion, many young people change their jobs and careers because they can are dissatisfied with low pay and high workplace stresshardly find new jobs and stress when working. Although changing jobs can help young peopleAlthough young people change their jobs and careers, they can help them expand their relationships and find better jobs. I believe the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying reasons for frequent career changes and presenting a clear position on whether the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. However, limited vocabulary control and frequent grammatical errors obscure meaning in several key arguments. Focus on improving sentence structure accuracy and expanding precision in academic vocabulary to raise the essay's quality.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All elements of the prompt are addressed, with clear reasons for job changes and a consistent personal stance throughout.
Provide more fully elaborated real-world examples to strengthen and deepen the support for main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses paragraphing and explicit linkers, but transitions feel repetitive and mechanical with occasional punctuation errors at clause boundaries.
Vary cohesive devices and ensure correct sentence boundary punctuation to improve the logical flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource
The range of vocabulary is restricted, relying on repeated prompt language and inaccurate word choices or collocations.
Use precise vocabulary and natural collocations, such as job stability or resilience, rather than repetitive everyday phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but grammatical and punctuation errors occur frequently across the text.
Review fundamental complex sentence structures and spacing conventions around punctuation to increase error-free sentences.