Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?
Sample Response
Cities offer excellent educationaleducation facilities, job opportunities and a better standard of living. This is why the influx of people intoin cities is continuing to riseever-increasing and young people mostly move to cities, away from their families, to pursue better educationto pursue a better education and to find employmentto have a job. Though there are some disadvantages to this trend, in my view, the trend has more benefits.
To begincommence with, young people have tothe young generation has to move to cities to gain admission toget admitted into better colleges or universities. Evidently, cities have a wider range of specialised universitiesmore specialised universities while such facilities are scarce in rural areasrural areas scarcely have such facilities. This is why parents want their children to study in a college in a city rather than in a village. Moreover, jobs, business opportunities, higher living standardsliving standards, health care and technological advancements often attract educated young people to moveattract educated young to move to urban areas. For instance, an IT professional has almost no chance of findinghaving a job in a remote area while there are many opportunities for themplenty of opportunities for this person in a city.
I believe that there are more advantages to this trend. First of all, only a handful of young peoplea handful of youth would be able to start a career in a village, and most of them would eventually need to movewould eventually be forced to move. This is because the opportunity and facilities in cities are much wider. Moreover, the education facilities in most rural areas are not as advanced as that in a city. This also gives a competitive advantage to those young people who study in a citythose youths who study in a municipality. Unless the government creates new job opportunities for the educated young generation in rural areas, forcing them to stay there would be a terrible idea.
In conclusion, young people may move to cities primarily for education, career and a better standard of living. This brings more benefits for them than drawbacks.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay clearly explains education, employment, healthcare, technology, and living standards as reasons for urban migration, supported by a relevant professional example. Its strongest feature is the logical, consistent argument that city opportunities benefit young people. The main limitation is that the claimed comparison with disadvantages is underdeveloped because no concrete drawback is examined; the priority is to acknowledge one significant cost of moving and show why the advantages still outweigh it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The reasons for moving are well developed and the position is clear, but the advantages-disadvantages comparison remains incomplete because drawbacks are only asserted.
Discuss a genuine disadvantage such as high living costs, isolation, or competition, then explain explicitly why education and career gains carry greater weight.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly through reasons, evaluation, and conclusion, with effective paragraphing and generally well-managed cohesive devices.
Avoid repeating education and employment in both body paragraphs by reserving the second paragraph for a direct advantages-versus-disadvantages comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for migration, education, employment, and opportunity, though several expressions are imprecise or repetitive.
Use natural phrases such as 'move to cities', 'young adults', 'opportunities are broader', and 'urban area' rather than 'municipality' in this context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally accurate and clear, with occasional agreement, article, pronoun, and comparison errors.
Correct forms such as 'opportunities and facilities are wider', 'not as advanced as those in cities', and consistent references to young people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.